Don't Read My Blog

GEP

2011-06-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

It occured to me today that whenever I meet an acquaintance from school, I subconsciously will eventually think about whether that person is from GEP or not. Maybe it could be that I am subconsciously elitist, or I just identify myself with people who exhibit subtle signs of GEP culture. Or it could simply be that I would have a higher chance of knowing them better if they were from GEP.

But that has led me to think, after all those years in the GEP, what good has come of it? What distinguishes us from, say, another Rafflesian from school, or another ex-student from another JC? Truth is, nothing much, in terms of life's success. While it may still hold true that in GENERAL, GEPs are stronger academically and intellectually, it still also holds true that GEPs are generally socially awkward when dealing with those they are unfamiliar with.

These factors seem to level life's playing field once the artificial boundaries of our school walls are breached by the hard truths of reality, that come in strongly in full force upon graduation. No longer are we placed on a false pedestal of security supported by paper grades and marks, but like everyone else, we have to run the rat race like lab mice chasing ever-elusive cheese in a maze specially designed to mock their inferior intellect by some higher being.

Previously we only had to run on the free-rotating wheel faster than the other rats to get the good cheese (grades and whatnot). Now it seems like our speed gives us hardly any edge in a labryinth which requires more street-cred and other skills that only now prove to be conscpicuously lacking. With more than one winding way (and no longer any straight path) to the cheese and even more dead-ends, we have to be careful not to run full speed into the pitiless walls, that show particularly little mercy on GEP rats who aren't as good as the rest at picking themselves up after the knock.

So yeah, being supposedly better at thinking out of the box doesn't make one better at interacting out of one's social circle. No more resting on our laurels and time to start learning again. But if there is one thing good about GEP (and there is definitely more than 1 thing good about it), it would be the unique culture that develops in isolation within each school, but yet can connect with other GEP cultures in other schools. Like telepathy. Or like the independent development of subcultures like goth and cosplay. Or I could just be stretching it. There's just something about the GEP culture that makes it easier to talk to another GEP, which also conversely makes it harder to talk to others.

Now i've lost the thrust of this post. Oh yes. Though life may be unfair, no one is entitled. Always have to work for it.

Anyway, all these rodent metaphors remind me, MOUSEHUNT!

Dream

2011-03-11T22:51:00.002+08:00

Last night, I had a rather peculiar yet vivid dream. It seemed all too real at the time, although there were many elements that didn't make sense (in the way that dreams don't). Well i was so deeply dreaming that I didn't hear my alarm ring for 20mins and my maid had to wake me. But it was such a clear dream that i must relate it to you:

I was in a tonner, as an NS man, helping to unload stores. The men around were not very proactive but i decided to take a backseat, being an NS man, and wanted to let their own commanders take charge. My friend was on the ground with a box, facing me. I was on the tonner, 1 foot on the rear crash bar (I just imagined one). Suddenly the tonner started reversing! I shouted "MOVE MOVE!" to my friend (Samuel?) and he promptly did so. (can't rmb what happened to the box) I then did a floorball 270deg turn to jump out of the tonner (landed at tonner rear left). The crashbar hit the soil slope.

I vaguely rmb a MSG on the tonner at the back, telling the driver when to reverse.

Then the tonner moved forward left. And i used this chance to cross over to the tonner rear right. The tonner knocked 3 ppl facing it in front and they landed on their butts. The tonner stopped and reversed again. Then it moved forward faster and to the left again. At this point another friend (Eric?) asked me if i was just gonna let this happen.

I shouted "STOP STOP!" to the driver and he came down. Clad in PT attire, the cheeky faced lad couldn't keep a serious face while i was scolding him. I asked him how he could reverse without checking the back for people. He gave me some cheeky answer. I asked him, "Don't you know that when reversing you always must have a front and rear guide? How about honking twice?" The MSG replied to this, saying, "Sir, not all of them went through the same training as you." ("How can that be?" I thought, since it is the same safety precautions as for A-vehicles?) This was all very infuriating, considering the prominence of my 1 bar on my chest (I forgot to wear the new 2 bar rank). I finally tipped and gave the driver 10 pushups (my first time in NS life). The surrounding men were laughing at him (fortunately none of them were injured). He did some pathetic worm like wriggle on the floor 10 times and stood up. I was appalled. I scolded him again and gave him 20 more. By this time the surrounding men were losing interest and walking towards the foodcourt.

At this point i realised that the driver was missing, lost in the moving crowd. I shouted, clapped my hands, and tried to get attention, but to no avail; he had escaped. I thus followed the tide of people to the cookhouse and to my surprise I recognised the driver, sitting at one of the round tables. I went right up to him and sat down. He was changed to a crisp new smart 4 already. I asked him, "What do you think you're doing?" To which he replied by grinning widely and pointing down to the very same bar on his chest.

Amidst my surprise and disgust, I also noticed the yellow sewn words (like those on the jockey cap) on his uniform (can't rmb which part). It included, "COL (something, can't rmb)". From what I understood, he was something like an aide to a Bde Comd level COL. Not exactly a Bde Comd, but of similar status. Though I was shocked to think that I had pumped another officer, I was further shocked by the fact that such an arrogant, flippant, worm could become an officer. The absence of my one extra bar was screaming into my head. At this point, he was still acting very arrogantly in front of his men. I decided to find his superior, this COL. He still told me, "Go find, lor."

I left enraged. Halfway I was delayed by a guy sent by that terrible 2LT to cause me to lose my way. Fortunately I met another, uninvolved CPL who directed me to this COL's office. I found myself walking towards a carpark though. And at the open rear end of a bus/van, I saw 3 figures in uniform inside. I knew it was the people I was looking for. Strangely the 2 at the back facing outwards were MAJs and the one in front seemed to be preoccupied with driving.

After the greetings, I immediately launched into a tirade about the incident. I told them that I was thinking of how to write a letter of complaint to them while walking here and their reply struck me as odd, "Good good, best not to put it in writing." To which I replied, to go with the flow, "Yes, it's better to tell it to you verbally." At that moment, suspicion was racing through my mind, "Why are they afraid of having the complaint in writing, where it is recorded?" And while I talked about the 2LT's horrible attitude towards the whole incident. They laughed and looked at each other, one of them saying, "That's what XXX (can't rmb his name) is like," giving me the impression that this is how this guy acted normally. And they were fine with it!

I told them all the safety breaches:
That he drove a tonner without a license for that vehicle,
That he reversed with only the MSG (in the vehicle looking back, straight at me too) as a guide, without checking the mirrors or looking behind,
That he reversed without honking twice to give ample warning to those around,
That despite hitting the rear of the vehicle, he continued forward, where he had clear view, and still managed to glance 3 people such that they fell on their butts,
That even despite this he reversed and drove forward again.

And of course I emphasised the lack of remorse, the lack of sense of responsibility, the lack of regard for human life, and his terribly inappropriate arrogance and disrespect to me.

At this point I found myself on a field with a tonner, demonstrating to them the various locations of the people involved. The MAJs were just listening to placate me and brushed off my accusations. I could see that they were probably not going to do anything. And they were either trying to shield the 2LT or they didn't want trouble or they just strongly favoured him.

I can't remember when I woke up, but subsequently I was thinking of seeking further redress along the chain of command, even willing to go to G1 (politely, of course). I also was considering writing in to the newspaper as a member of the public, as a witness to a irresponsible event I could not condone.

Hopefully I can continue the dream tonight, to finish the unfinished business and settle the matter.

graceful society?

2011-02-24T18:27:00.011+08:00

Speaking of graceful, i suddenly think of Black Swan, which was chilling and terribly tense throughout. I thought Natalie Portman's portrayal of her character's destructive descent into despair and deconstruction of reality was freakishly believable. Leads me to think whether Singapore, having a similar pressure-cooker environment in which everyone pursues perfection, predisposes its people towards similar psychotic tendencies.

How far down that path are we all? How much of ourselves are we willing to lose, give up, or change, for "perfection"? Gah, why so serious. This post was supposed to be about something else, so i'd better get to it.

Yesterday on my way home from town I met my rj (raffles junior college forever) music teacher, Mr gooi! He hasn't changed one bit. I don't think he remembers precisely who I am or my name, but he definitely recognises me. After chatting with him a while, about studies and the day's activities, and music, he started going on about something that i cannot remember now, in response to a question of mine. SMOKESCREEN FORMED. I really think he was either trying to smoke me, or he didn't get my question, or he just likes digressing. Oh well. After that imba smokescreen i was stunned for quite a while and couldn't say anything for fear of breathing in too much smoke and choking and dying. So awkward silence for quite a while. Fortunately I saw that he was getting off in 2-3 more stops. So i just looked at him meaningfully, or nodded, or maybe grunted "agreement", and he would continue smoking out.

Oh i rmb now, he was talking about the difference between poly and uni grads wrt Computer Eng. Damn weird cos i was asking about the diff bet music at A lvls and a music degree, since the previous topic we were on was taking music as a minor in uni. Anyway people were stealing glances at us cos I think we were the only ones talking audibly and maybe people were taking offense at the Poly vs Uni comments. So perhaps the intermediate silences helped to dispel tension within disgruntled listeners.

Anyway that's still not the point for this post! The title is "graceful society?" because today I witnessed something rather revealing and unglam about Singaporeans' behavior.

I was still in the train traveling home and as usual people kept coming in and out. I was standing in the middle of the carriage between two doors where it was completely unoccupied. I mean, all the seats were taken la, but the few people who were standing were at the usual spots around the doors. Anyway I noticed out of the corner of my eye, after one stop that as someone left, he/she dropped/kicked a scrunched-up plastic bag out of nowhere onto the floor.

I was observing the reactions of the people for all the subsequent stops until my destination. When it was first dropped/moved there, no one did anything, so it was just left there. After a while it became pretty obvious that no one could reasonably ignore the presence of the conspicuous plastic bag by pretending not to see it (which was what I was doing as well, but for a variety of reasons).

When new people came in, their gaze would inevitably flicker towards the litter, then immediately pass over to something else. Moving into space to my right and left, their faces were pictures of textbook innocence, some choosing to look at the sky perfunctorily or to go ogle hot chicks and hot males. Restarting my phone, I happened to see all the smses I failed to receive earlier.

So i busied myself with replying and observing people until i arrived at choa chu kang with my thoughts swirling through my head. I was disappointed at the results of this social experiment. With a scowl on my face, I bent low to pick up the plastic bag as I left in a huff. Hopefully i triggered some feelings of guilt in other people. If they thought I was the one who dropped it and took so long to pick it up, then, I've failed again. But i left so quickly I couldn't see anyone's expressions to read.

Yup so that was the real main story of this post. Why are Singaporeans still so ungracious? Are we uneducated? No. Are we uninformed? Cannot be, since the government has published lots of propaganda regarding this already. The recent NEA littering ad with the 3 tough guys and allusion to kungfu hustle is already among the top 10 local ads.

So how? Must teach people to be buei paiseh and unselfish. Children are already so hard to teach, adults are harder, and old people are usually the most resistant to change. Society as an amalgam of people is collectively less-malleable than its individual elements.

The service with a smile campaign has been rather successful at promoting tourism and improving service standards but I believe it has failed at targeting the root causes of ungraciousness, which stems from each individual's character. These can be roughly categorised into the following categories, namely: bo chap, buei song, bo ji and blur sotong.

Let me elaborate.

Bo chap: Don't care. Such people simply don't care about being nice, or about others' comfort and welfare.

Buei song: Not happy. These people have some sort of inner turmoil and unhappiness which they take out on other people through rudeness and unhelpfulness.

Bo ji: No balls. They know when something is wrong and what they should do to correct it, but they fear being viewed as being extra or fear confrontation.

Blur sotong: Under-aware of the situation. Probably the most blameless amongst the collective perpetuators of an uncultured society, these guys just don't know when they are causing unconvenience and unhappiness to others. Or they are not aware when something else is causing similar problems.

So, that was a rather long post. I shall rest now and think of how to address the above problem-types another time. Anyway, did you notice? Did you, did you? The rather awkward expressions, unnecessarily bombastic words, etc? There's an order to chaos.

Here lets recap and explain:

Look at the first para to this post. Each of the 3 sentences uses alliteration or a disproportionate number of words beginning with a particular letter, namely: T, D, P.

Here's another weird para ("hidden" stuff are in caps):
When new people came in, their gaze would inevitably FLICKeR (FLICKR) ToWards the lITTER (TWITTER), then immediately pass over to something else. Moving into SPACE to MY (MY SPACE) right and left, their FACEs were pictures of textBOOK (FACEBOOK) innocence, some choosing to look at the SKY PErfunctorily (SKYPE) or to GO OGLE hot chicks and HOT MALEs (HOTMAIL). Restarting mY PHONE, I hAPPened (IPHONE APP) to see all the smses I failed to receive earlier.

Okay pretty lame, and obvious, but i'm bored. My brain be dying. Bye.

Too many things to say, not gonna bother coming up with a title. Okay fine i will. I call this post: A Rant

2011-02-15T00:11:00.004+08:00

It's already 2011, the year i turn 21. Hmm what does that mean?

Well its 1 year from the so-called end of the world. I should stock up on canned food.

I can finally drive! since last year dec, and have been abusing my mum's car ever since. I use it even more than she does, and the car uses petrol alarmingly fast. Had several close calls, especially during turning, and usually with taxis (hate them, along with daredevil motorcycles). Lucky my mum's car small.

For those who don't know, once I was parking the car at home, and i saw behind me got another car. I stopped by the side to let him go first, cos i know i sure take damn long to park. but he neh go. So bo pian must park, but then I was already too close to the side cos i wanted to let him park. I tried anyway. Suddenly the guy behind me horned damn loudly (the acoustics in the underground carpark amplified the sound). Just in time too. I saw that my car - my mum's car - was a few cm from a pillar. Damn heng. Then I looked at the other car, to get the biggest surprise of all. Sitting at the driver's seat was my dad! He saved my ass.

Anyway, I managed to pass second time mainly cos the second tester was so much nicer and friendlier, which boosted my confidence alot.

But that bloody raj passed first time with only 17 (am i right?) lessons! imba. that's just pro, just like how he can tank a double-team on him for over 20seconds then release a perfectly aimed and timed pass straight to your blade. and how he has never scored without the ball going either into the top left or top right corners. yup, that's raj.

That brings me to floorball. In order to get my lazy bum off the stool at the computer, I agreed to join marcus' newly formed team, which is lovingly christened ILO (rhymes with LILO [and stitch] but not MILO). It means... er... peace I think. Raj, myself, chris from med, harold and tong are in line 1. That's a total scam. We are NOT the best line and have the lowest scoring record so far, given the play time. Auggie and guowei is in the team too. Jianhui is re-discovering his imba keeper skills and reflexes, but he's gotta do that fast cos he's already given us some heart attacks. Playing in 5 is still weird, but we're getting the hang of it. I need to work on it, since i'm playing centre. I also need to work on long-range shots. Shots on the move, and shots under pressure. Basically my shooting sucks.

Oh, I must mention that I had a great time in Korea, Japan and Hongkong in January, but now i have no more will to continue writing this post. So maybe another time. Or you could just see the photos on facebook (when I get down to finish uploading the remaining 1000 photos from japan/hk. korea's done though)

I made gingerale recently too, with the yeast I saw in the fridge that will expire soon if i don't use it. First time turned out surprisingly well, very refreshing, except its a bit spicy and sweet. This time's gonna more screwed up though. See how tmr. K cannot tahan already, must play tf2. bye.

Wishlist

2010-05-31T18:43:00.002+08:00

Thanks to Nicole for her idea, im gonna come up with a wishlist for my birthday. But before i put it up on a super public place like facebook, i need a place to 'store' and grow it. So here it is. Those super early bird can help first. *wink* thanks.

So far only got:
1. Wallet
2. Pair of slippers (I dunno what size leh)
3. (I would say PS3 but the satisfaction gained is not worth the money spent, considering how much time i'll have to play it. So instead, see no. 4)
4. PSP + Games
5. (More to come soon, as I think of it)

4th driving lesson!

2010-05-21T20:58:00.003+08:00

And my last driving lesson will be next week, before my schedule makes it very difficult to schedule them.

I stalled the engine ONCE when driving into the lot. Starting to get more familiar with the car and how it works, doing turns, humps, and other stuffs. Eh BBDC doesnt have the record of my pdl, so i can't book the TP test! Or maybe i don't have a pdl and i've been driving illegally. Thats impossible.

And Bodo, I haven't been really talking about army. I talked about running from home to work and from work to home, I talked about drinking beer with my friends, I talked about meeting schoolmates in unexpected places. How is that army related?

Had another encounter with one of the "schoolmates" mentioned earlier today. Gives me the shivers.

On another note, my two shoulders have like 10 mosquito bites total on them and were freaking itchy, lucky it has subsided. Cos of the vest I was wearing on monday, the only places the commando mozzies could reach were my limbs, biting through my clothing. And i probably was moving my arms around too much, swatting, so they couldnt bite it (except my hands). They probably targeted the exposed flesh. And my HEAD. They were freaking buzzing around my head the whole time and i was trying to concentrate. One mozztard even bit my forehead somehow. But the current buggers are the bites on my thighs! Like 10 more bites in total on both thighs, and somehow they are AOE rather than pinpoint attacks. I've been scratching them through my pants for 4 days now.

BOOMZ baby

2010-05-11T19:47:00.004+08:00

I had my second driving lesson just this friday. My first lesson was the friday before. And its AWESOMMMMEE. Love driving. Learning manual, against my father's counsel, because, well, guys generally learn manual. Its more challenging (maybe take longer and cost more, and easier to fail), but that's the point. If i can pass manual, i can pass auto. Its so much more different from an armoured vehicle. Totally different. It is so much more fine control, miniscule adjustments in pressure exerted by the right foot. Fortunately im right legged, and playing the piano has made me used to controlling the pedal. still need lots of practice though.

I realised how important it is to sit closer to the wheel, so the left leg has better control of the clutch. And i appreciate the mirrors much more so now, from the drivers POV. Theyre so useful. from any other seat in the car you can't see shit from the mirrors.

My instructor, Mr Neo, is a surly old man. I was terribly terribly terribly late for my first lesson so i don't blame him for being surly. 20mins late imagine that! Cos had to wait for my boss to finish his meeting to speak to me. By the time he finished (1hour later, he loves being ultra long winded sometimes), I rushed home, had dinner and left the house. I thought MRT would take too long so i queued up at the cab stand. In the end by the time it got to me, like 10+ minutes had passed already. The trip took about 10mins, so i ended up 20-30 mins late for lesson. oop. :\

In the end i realised that if i had taken train, the max time would be 5 min waiting time, and 5 min travelling time, to gombak. Haste makes waste. And now i have a shit tower in my pants for all the haste i'm trying to have.

So first lesson at night, he barely spoke after asking for my PDL and whether i had taken the theory tests. He drove to this ulu ulu place which was rather dark and scary, and if i were a girl i'd be totally freaked out. As it was i was half freaked out. Cos it was ulu and did i mention dark and scary? Not many street lights, non-existent traffic. Of course i also thought it would be a good place to train, and i knew where exactly i was cos its just outside of camp and we have run there before. But still. ulu, dark and scary. Then we got out of the car.

He motioned me to the driver's seat. The door was left open and he stood leaning on it, puffing on a cig, while explaining to me the different parts of the dashboard and the various controls. Okay. Woosh. I let out a held breath. But still, i was ready to fight/run. (he's quite big)

Then after awhile we got to the gears, brakes, accelerator, and clutch. All this while he was going through them all with a rather bored tone, like with the experience of having this done countless times before. This is once again, to him, merely "going through the motions" (to make grammatical sense of the SAF phrase to 'go through motion') [i wouldn't want to pass through shit in any case].

He made me practice pushing and releasing the clutch a few times. As well as changing the gear. He kept scolding me for the changing of gear, like i pull it like a slot machine. Well, i AM left handed... And as expected i kept fumbling around with the bloody gear and my elbow kept bumping into the seat. He kept telling me, gotta be gentle with the thing, just soft touches. Took me awhile to get used to it.
methinks: *Not a tank, not a tank*

Then he told me to turn on the engine and try revving it. Very different from A-vehicle, as mentioned before. Totally none of flooring the pedal. The lightest of feather touches and you can hear/feel the effect on the engine. So he made me practice revving it at a constant rev of 1000rpm.

Then came the actual driving. (by this time i had completely relinquished all thoughts of assault and if he had struck then, i would've said, if still conscious/alive, he's a pro cos he totally lulled me into a sense of security)
Anyway, as expected i stalled the engine, and received and earful for not controlling my clutch. In fact the deepest impressions i got from the first lesson is that i must control my clutch and be nice to the gear. Felt good to move a car. Its so smooth, so effortless. *not a tank* Not used to changing gear too.

I did some left turns, with a hell lot of guidance from him, verbal and physical (he kept interfering with my steering, well for good reason, or i'd have driven on the grass at some point of the turn). And then suddenly i realised he was directing me back to the world, for i saw a familiar traffic light at a junction leading towards my camp. Damn, i didn't feel ready for this. Heart started to pump faster, harder. My speed probably didn't exceed 50km/h. And along the way back, i stalled like 3 times at the traffic light, cos i panicked when the lights turned green. Previously in practice i could do everything just so, and at my own time and leisure. Now i felt the impatience of the cars behind (probably imagined, cos no one horned at me) and the urgency of the bloody GREEN light beckoning me to hurry up and not block the road.

The first time i stalled on public roads i was too stunned to even restart the engine. I had to get his express instruction before I moved. Well but after that i learned. First time i had to signal i also gabra. Whatever. No more embarrassing details for you (whoever you are.) Worst part is parking. I didn't even move properly into the lot and the engine stalled cos i had no idea how to control the car at slow speeds. It wasn't even a park, it was just, move into the lots so that the next student can get in. Felt rather short, since i was late, so a 1.5hr lesson became 1hr.

Okay on to the second driving lesson, which was markedly better. I came on time this time, for one. But he was still a surly old man, sharing a chat with his other cigarette smoking driving instructor friends over one of their training cars. He did't even return my greeting, then suddenly grunted and gestured to the car. I didn't even know which side he wanted me to get into. In the end i got into the drivers seat. It was sweltering. He probably finished his cigarette before coming in. Once i started the engine, the first thing i did was to turn on the aircon.

Once again, i stalled while trying to move off. COS I HAD FORGOTTEN last weeks lesson. I hope next lesson (this thurs) i won't stall at all. Oh oh, yeah besides that one time, i didn't stall AT ALL for the rest of the lesson, at any traffic light. So proud of myself. That time my safety rover driver stalled the engine like...5-6 times, and thats with 3-6months of experience. Gah. That's another story.

We did more turns, U-turns and practice of control. I felt so much more comfortable changing gear now and starting to move is so much smoother, the car just glides forward. The thing now is to get it to glide forward at a faster accelerative rate. Cos though its smoother, it is still markedly slower than other vehicles at the traffic light. So. Changing gear is now a breeze, but its gonna take a few more lessons before it becomes second nature. Went up to gear 4 today, but top speed was only like 50+km/h. I hope i don't get complacent and kill somebody. That would be terrible for my psychological health. Oh yeah and the victim's general well-being. This time he barely scolded me, just some chastising for poor turns and wrong use of gear. But definitely an improvement from 1st lesson. :DD He's still a surly old man though.

Remember you're not alone

2010-05-11T19:19:00.003+08:00

New beginnings, new surroundings,
New faces that you've never seen
What's thought the doorway,
Don't know anymore, hey
It's like the world just got a little larger.

Unfamiliar names are racing,
Through your mind and through your ears
But when you feel like things are all messed up

Remember you’re not alone
Each time when you feel like you don’t belong
Just sing this song
And a thousand other voices by your side
Will join in and sing along

Remember you’re not alone
Each time when things start getting tough
And you’ve had enough
All you gotta do is reach out and you’ll find
The ties that bind
Remember you’re not alone

That's all i can recall. Sudden nostalgia. I watched the guys a divs semis today, where they got trashed 8-2 by YJ. I don't recall YJ suddenly becoming so pro, or us suddenly becoming so bad. I saw their training recently and i thought their performance on pitch really didn't quite make the mark. They are better than that. Anyway luckily i didn't take cab from camp and waste money to watch a terrible loss. I only made it from end of 2nd period onwards. I must admit that YJ scored nice goals, those that I managed to catch. Sometimes our keeper didnt keep properly, leaving holes. Our forwards should have shot more in such a small court. So many were off target, whatever happened to jill's mantra of shots on goal. and on target? She apparently had this new tactic where the defender would lob the ball into the slot for the forward to receive, but how does it work out? Esp since she fields j1s who have less control than, say myself who probably only can receive 33% of such lobs in the slot, what more the newer players.

Rushed down from camp in my number 4, outstandingly green and slightly sweaty.

Another RJ guy in HQ recently came in. Slightly awkward in his mannerisms. I was trying to be friendly and nice, but he seemed to insist in speaking to me formally and robotically, so i didn't press. He's from 09S06F, apparently crystal thinks that's a class full of weirdos, and that seems to fit the picture i got from speaking with him. Like he didn't seem to give a damn when i told him i was from 08S06S. I can't even remember whether he just walked out after that or departed with a emotionless "bye, sir." Maybe i'm just making this up in my head. But oh well. I had hopes of making a new friend. Eh am i elitist? RJC ftw.

Strange, but i miss school. I thought I hated JC. Perhaps i do. But the graduation song and our batch song made me nostalgic. Again.

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be, friends forever

I hope so.

Heavy wings grow lighter

2010-05-09T22:59:00.003+08:00

It was only a week ago that I took my SAT subject tests, and being true to my nature, i did some last minute preparation the night before. Which totally wasn't enough, especially since my post-studies brain has been baked in a helmet and chilled in an aircon office. I wonder how chilled baked brain tastes like. Crap probably, but perhaps it tasted that way in the first place.

I almost forgot how to use my GC, fortunately the test only required basic use. Damn. I really hope I didn't screw it up. Its not that i didn't want to prepare lor, its just that week i had to keep working OT to plan for range, that i would be conducting soon.

Yeah but anyway I arrived early thanks to my dad, so i spent a good 5-10 minutes wandering around trying to find the place. I saw a girl and at least 2 others wander around too, looking lost, in the end we all ended up in the same place, but wandered seperately of course. Quite amusing. Like a bunch of lost bees finding the various routes to the same flower. Some get there first, some later. If only Singaporeans wouuld be more friendly and amicable (is this the correct word? If i had to take SATs 1 again i'd probably do much worse ))): ), we would ask for directions, or talk to each other and search together. or whatever. better than wandering around like lonely lost souls. perhaps thats what we are...

And HCI had to choose this rather ULU reading room in the 3rd floor to by the test location. Seems like they were trying to test us, those who are smart enough are worthy to take the ACTUAL test. In the end only got like...10-15 takers of SATS II. So its quite surprising for me to have noticed like 2-3 others who were wandering about, who were to take the same test too, considering that 90% of the ppl there were there to take SATs I. Eeee. I hate my lousy phrasing and expression. Really can't write properly anymore. aNd its so disjointed and random, incoherent. maybe its just late. maybe its book in blues (what does that have to do with writing?)

And the invigilators were distracting, the guy cos he was reading off the script in that bleh-trying-to-sound-pro voice; the girl cos she was wearing a nice blue blouse and had long brown hair. Well it distracted me for like, until the test really began. The bloody admin took like freaking 20-25mins. I was so ready to fall asleep. I can't believe i didn't manage my time properly for physics, and didn't do the last qn!! complacent. Now i can't get 800 for physics, unless too many ppl do badly. Gah i hope Americans are more stupid than I think they are. Oh another thing that actually distracted me during the test, for like 10 seconds, was how the guy was being rather friendly to the girl, if you know what i mean, well unless they're already friends or more. they're too young to be hwach teachers, so i was also wondering where they came from.

Anyway its over and one less load on my back for now.

Damn its late, and i shall stop trying to spam blogg posts again to catch up past events, at least for now. Like how i facebook, i blog in spurts. Next post will be about my first driving lessons! felt good to drive. muahahahaha. nights.

Running into the dark underground

2010-05-09T22:42:00.005+08:00

I should have recced the ground before actually running it. I thought just tracing the route visually on the bus would be enough, but that didn't help me anticipate the wet and slushy ground near the nurseries, the poor light conditions due to lack of street lights, and that very loud voiced bitch in the canal.

From camp to home took me about 40mins, but the running conditions were quite shitty. Left in the late evening so it was approaching last light. Now i know why we stand to. Sometimes I really couldn't see what I saw stepping on, especially one part where the shrubbery was so overgrown that the path leads into a tunner of shrubbery. Plus that part was a short yet steep downslope, leading to the trail next to the canal. Honestly that was the scariest part of the run. Cos the moment I touched down on flat ground again, a dog barked damn freaking loudly from the canal to my right, when I looked there it took me like 3 seconds to identify the source. So anyway I barked back with equal vigour, except mine was probably higher pitched and didn't have the resonance natural to larger dogs.

After that it was mainly sloshing through the watery bits, leaked from the plant nursery above. I feared for my relatively new Asics running shoes, recently defiled by the redness of the track, now nourished by the nutrient water fed to young plants. I'm never running there in the evening again.

Then near the KJE exit point, next to the road but still relatively far from habitation, i smelt frangipani to my left, but it was only a wall of high shrub. I ran faster.

The run was also quite disrupted by the multiple traffic light junctions. And i always was unsure of the route, despite travelling many times via bus. Seems TEN10x further on foot.

The next morning I ran back to camp from home. This time i avoided the canal route but that took me right along the sungei tengah road which does not have a footpath at some points, so I had to bash through some unmaintained grass with traffic zooming by, which got my shoes all dewy, poor shoes.

Oh apparently it had been awhile since i last exercised before this run, so that night I probably had a cramp in my left calf. Cos when I woke up the next morning it was feeling so tight and stiff, and that didn't go away for like 2 FULL DAYS.

Finally, i've lost weight. ): Everyone says so, and i know it too.

Beep Test

2010-04-29T08:24:00.002+08:00

Oh there were several reasons why I was feeling so tired yesterday:

1. Duty and whatnot, causing me to have less than optimal sleep for the past week.
2. Ran home from camp on monday night, and ran back to camp from home on tuesday morning. (my legs were still aching yesterday)
3. Monday's gym training still had my muscles aching.
4. NO AFTERNOON KNOCKOUT NAP yesterday, because I was trying to do my work and forced myself to stay conscious, which took a lot of effort and left me with a headache the whole afternoon.
5. Beep Test yesterday morning. Conducted by Shikun. I just went to participate. I achieved Level 11-7. Met my target, considering my muscles and physical condition was not at max performance.

This weekend's gonna be busy. ): Random i know, but its all i have to look forward to.

Cheap beer

2010-04-29T08:11:00.002+08:00

Okay, I got a little tipsy on cheap beer last night, after the reception.

At first I drank because i was thirsty. Then after that I drank because of peer pressure and because we were all having fun playing pool and foozeball (even while at 80% soberness, i remain the reigning foozeball champion! especially on the red side. Nothing comes close.) I swear that even though they all accused me of being drunk, cos I turn red on alcohol very easily, they were getting even more zi-high by themselves, and made thrice the hullabaloo they normally would. Shikun was howling, as usual. And Paul was just trying to get me to drink, even resorting to seduction, which obviously fell flat on its back. Nice try paul.

Now the BEST thing about being almost drunk, is when it hits you later at night, and you start to totally crash. Good to have good friends with you at this point, for you are at your most vulnerable, and other people may try to take advantage of you in some ways... For me it happened while i was planting my crops on Farmville. :P Jason was nice enough to help me finish clicking on the remaining plots, maybe 1-2 rows left. While I went up first to sleep.

I initially wanted to bathe, but by the time i got to my bunk I was all ready to sleep (knowing me i should have foreseen this), so i just changed out and lay contently on my bed. Sleep arrived very quickly tonight, and was of the highest quality.

So on this morning, I solemnly, soberly, and unhungoverly (another invented word!), can type this post out (while playing cafe world) without a headache or any reminders of the night before, except the wonderful feeling of having an excellent night's rest.

Perhaps next time when I'm tired but can't sleep, I'll just down some alcohol until I feel good enough to conk out. Only problem is the peeing, gotta work that out someday.

POP

2010-04-14T15:36:00.003+08:00

It reminded me of the good old days when thing were simple as a recruit, watching this batch of recruits pass out of BMT in our unit. I thought our parade was better =P despite ours being immediately after the 24km route march, but that is irrelevant.

There were lots of dressed up sisters/girlfriends watching the parade, and I stopped work at my office to watch too.

But the main thing I wanna say in this post is that, men will always be men. Cos on the bus home finally after work, this recruit and his very sluttily dressed girlfriend, whom my friend had incidentally pointed out earlier during the parade as the most slutty one around, got on as well. They were sitting on the seats that faced backwards, while I was standing up at the standing area. When they got off, I watched the eyes of the other people in the bus, and most of the men, old or young, would glance towards the door and then follow on to somewhere behind me. hmmm.... i wonder what they were looking at.

She wasn't even pretty lor, or hot... just that her whole get-up screamed attention-grabbing. Gah.

As you walk into the tube

2010-04-01T00:37:00.003+08:00

I met my brother in rather awkward circumstances.

I was getting on the MRT at Bishan, at the very door i stood when it opened, was my brother and his friends. His friends got off but he's taking the tube to CCK like me, so he stayed. And this FLOOD of people tried to get out. But due to the usual chokepoint they moved really slowly.

And on hindsight i must admit i behaved terribly inconsiderately. When the door closing warning sounded I just stepped in behind my brother, cos he didn't see me, and i was just hecking all the people that were trying to get out. Sounds bad? Yeah it was. Felt guilty after that, just wasn't thinking straight at that point.

He was being jostled around so much that even though i put my hand on his shoulder, he didn't even turn around to recognise me. Naturally, I got even more pushed around and probably bumped several angry people in all the wrong places. Worse I couldn't gauge how "fat" i was due to my bag. usually i'm able to squeeze between stubborn immobile people, but not today.

Well at least after that I had a good long chat with my bro. the longest ever. cos we had about half an hour of nothing to do but either stare at goats or talk to one another. But i'm glad i can finally talk with my brother properly. Okay its late and i need to sleep and rest for Good Friday and ARR. Night world (at least this side of the world).

Vision

2010-03-08T18:42:00.002+08:00

How important it is to align yourself with the vision with the organisation(s) you are part of and belong with in order to do well or even sustain your continued survival or membership..

It hit me recently. That all the things I have succeeded in or done well in were only because I shared a similar vision or motivation as the body i was part of.

Eg.

School, I enjoy intellectual pursuit (no doubt cultivated to some extent, but nonetheless crucial to doing well. Also why i hate exams)

Choir, I love music, and wish to journey with like-minded people to find and get to know God.

Scholarship, I truly do care for the country and the environment, hence PUB/NEA's vision was more appealing to me than say...ST Eng or Singapore Power or even DSTA, because I also do not like being involved in something that is intended to kill.

Ironic, considering my next example is officership.
Because its worthwhile in itself. Not for money, not for prestige or power, but to improve oneself and to contribute to the organisation. Very often, people complain about NS. But I feel that (or maybe have been brainwashed, but i think i convinced myself) since we have no choice to serve (which in itself isnt that bad considering why we have a conscript army), might as well make the best out of the time here, and not just for oneself, but for the SAF and the country. (This really helped me push through a lot of difficult times in NS, because i believed in what i did) And to reconcile this with my reluctance to be involve myself in an organisation training thousands of killers, its all about priorities. Loyalty to country is foremost, hence dedication to SAF follows naturally, but a career is for life, and there are other ways to contribute to the nation.

The reason why i performed relatively better at the end of my cadet life than most is because my goal is not officership in itself (which regrettably is the case for several i know), it is using officership as means to a bigger end, ultimately to better the SAF and our nation's defence.

Pride of the Badges

2010-03-08T18:15:00.002+08:00

Finally earned the right to have 2 badges on my left sleeve. As an armour officer, i'm perhaps more acutely aware of my lack of badges on the No. 4, due to the difference in course syllabus with the other vocations, hence making us rather indistinguishable from the men, rank notwithstanding.

Hence, the value of the proficiency badges like IPPT Gold and Marksmanship Badges go up greatly. On 2nd Mar, I was so glad to re-earn my right to wear the IPPT Gold badge, and with a PB in 2.4km as a bonus! If i recall i put my NAPFA scores in Sec 3 in this very blog. I wonder how i compare now...

Sit ups: 63 (or 64) can't rmb. I was quite happy with my score until i heard the score of the guy to my right, Zhao Jiawei, who always gets on my nerves with his logically argumentative nature. He did 70+. And thats not his best. Crazy idiot.

Standing broad jump: 250cm. No change since BMT. But this time i felt like i really had to spring with force, while as a cadet i could just 'float' to the 250 mark.

Shuttlerun: 9.4s Not very good, but i didn't bother with a retry.

Chin-ups: Everyone stopped at 12, so peer pressure forced me off the bar at 14.

2.4km!: Achieved Commando Gold for the second time in my life! But still haven't sub 9. )): 9:09. One of my goals in life will be to sub-9.

Saturday night fever

2010-02-28T11:48:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was really fun. Haven't had such a saturday for a long time.

supposed to go iceskating in the morning with sectionmates but since all of us were late, except zonghe who had to wait for ages for us to arrive, and we had 5 ppl in the end, we bowled instead.

Played below average for 2nd game, but that was cos i was experimenting with different ball weights. Frame 9 was an amazing frame, with all 5 of us getting strikes, plus zonghe's frame 8 strike, that made it 6 strikes in a row! We were so noisy at this frame other ppl kept looking at us, and the next bowler was always under pressure to keep up the streak. I bet the photo of the scores is on facebook, or will be.

After that i rushed to church (i cannot keep cabbing like this, my wallet will keep thinning), something wrong with my tempo today, or the choir's, we couldnt coordinate, but the blending was good, from what I could heard during the acapella verses.

26th was Geri's birthday, and 28th is Ian's (flautist) birthday, hence nicole siew, denise, and geri bought the cake from the cake shopt next to icekimo. It was really delicious cheese cake, with swirly brown bits (that denise said was... cake), and an excellent crunchy chewy chocolate base. Our usual lack of plates lead to the usual manual destruction of cake with forks.

Somehow there weren't any altos yesterday... So i had to sing alto, when i wasn't playing. I don't like alto range, its like in the middle of nowhere, use chest voice its too high, use falsetto its in the low range so not much volume.

After prac we had tauhui/chinchow then went to nicole siew's place for monopoly deal. Oh rebecce told us that the minimart sold giant cartons of milo! So michael and i bought one each. Monopoly deal is so cunning, and the dynamics of the game changes with the number of players, due to the cards that are available.

As usual, i knocked out on the way home in desmond's car.

Oh no, A lvl results are coming out soon, I must quickly finish up my apps before the deadline.

Singaporeans need to open their eyes and use their brain correctly

2010-02-24T21:51:00.002+08:00

I went for mass at St. Joseph's for the first time just this sun. Cos i had duty on sat, which wasn't even supposed to be mine, only cos i took over from my friend who had family dinner.... Missed the lohei and gambling. Well he'd BETTER PAY ME BACK 2 duties before getting posted out or i'll kill him.

Anyway, it was an experience at St. Joseph's. The decor is rather oriental, but i dont think the positioning of a certain thing is appropriate. But its in chinese so i can't rmb what it said. The whole atmosphere is more suitable for worship than HS, i dunno why. I went to like... the 6th row from front, was slightly early, so i thought still no one. But when mass started still not many ppl in front of me, in the end i discovered they were all cluster-****ing at the back. I wonder why.

Choir was really small, handful. Cantor had a clear voice, but didn't articulate fully. The psalm tone is nothing I've heard before... The organist uses wrong chords! Although they dont do things "as well" in a sense in this church, the "holiness "factor just seems upped. Like, simple, old school, but sincere worship.

Anyway the post is mainly supposed to bitch about annoying inconsiderate Singaporeans on the bus who didn't move to the back. Naturally after mass, lots of ppl were taking the bus from the same busstop. There were these 2 guys who put their little toddler kids on top of the fire hose area near the front of the bus, and naturally stood next to their kids. That caused a choke point. And it didnt help that the lady just beyond them was talking to her friends in a circle, hence she also cut into the centre lane, leaving little space to squeeze through.

Once i squeezed through i turned around to realise that i was the last one to manage to squeeze through. After several stops, the front got more crowded but the idiots were either oblivious or couldnt be bothered to care. I was so tempted to raise my voice to tell them to move in. Perhaps i lack the moral courage. I saw one of those stuck in front shoot an annoyed look at the offenders, but i suppose she didnt have the courage to say anything either. I was just thinking that if this happened in the West, immediately several people would have voiced their concerns without hesitation. Asian culture is kind of hindering us in this sense, in becoming a more "gracious" society.

Oh well, if this happens again, I hope i'll be able to make myself act appropriately. Nights. Sleep is important, stop reading my blog so late at night. Go sleep.

My Grandfather

2010-02-14T21:47:00.003+08:00

What prompted me strongly enough to not be lazy and post again, was strangely, this hour plus long talk by my grandfather. Allow me to explain.

My Grandfather may not be educated, or well versed in all the Catholic teachings and explanations. He may be growing old, physically deteriorating, and perhaps even going slightly slow in the mind. But when it came to telling my siblings and I about Jesus, his eyes were full of vigour, his mind became more active, his whole being was filled with passion for the Lord.

And this is what I want to convey to you through this post.

His immense faith.

This is something we can learn from; how he applied his beliefs, and complete conviction in God to his everyday life, to how he views life, to how he LIVES his life. Truly, he lives for God.

You know how Lucas likes to explain to us the readings or other material to help us gain a better understand of God. He speaks with a fervour, but I find it scholarly and academic, largely appealing to the mind and logical thinking. This experience I had listening to my grandfather was of the opposite kind, that longing in his voice showed that not only did he believe strongly in his mind in God, he also believed wholly with his heart, that God is our Lord and Saviour.

That is not to say that his extremely long speech was completely irrational and baseless. On the contrary, he demonstrated to me clearly how Catholic teachings can be practically applied to our way of thinking, through how he spoke of God to us. Humility, trust in God and non-judgement of others were a few of the messages that struck me very strongly.

When he first started talking about WWII and his experience, I wanted him to finish up quickly so that I could go watch Shanghai Noon. But when he got to talking about Jesus, his conviction stopped my squirming, and although over the one hour mark I still wanted him to finish up quickly, what lay beneath all that was a sense of wonder, a desire to spread the word and more importantly, a spiritual renewal in myself.

I am not one to make such long speeches about faith, but I sincerely hope that through this, you will be touched in some way by the power of our Lord. So I will end with my grandfather's vision of our Lord Jesus Christ himself. Believe it or not.

His knee had been giving him some problems so he went for an op. After the op, he prayed everyday in church for no relapse to occur. According to him, on the 21st day of prayer, in the main church, he saw Jesus stand beside the tabernacle. His body felt like it was on fire, like having a fever. He was perspiring and all. Then Jesus walked into the room right beside the tabernacle. My grandfather got up and went to look into that room (probably that used by the altar boys), and found no one inside.

He thought that the Lord wanted to tell him something, for Him to have appeared to him. So he continued praying for the Lord to make known His message in a way that my grandfather could understand, being a simple man.

From here it gets a little fuzzy, I didn't fully understand. From what I understood, he was praying at the statue of St. Peter and St. Paul. Nearby there was either a stack of papers or a roll of papers. My grandfather inexplicably picked one out and there on that piece of paper was typed explicitly what God wanted him to do. WITH HIS NAME ON IT. Joseph. I won't tell you what God told my grandfather here though, you can ask me.

Yup so that was what he shared with me. Honestly speaking, I'm a skeptic, and more than hesitant to believe what Jarvis says sometimes, regarding similar experiences. But hearing this story from my grandfather left me with no doubt that he spoke in complete faith in his experience. Whether or not it is really true is immaterial, though I believe it is, because what matters is our faith in God and not what we see. After all, happy the man who does not see, yet believes.

It is important to note that our faith should not be based on such experiences. Whether or not my grandfather saw Jesus or not makes no difference to his faith and trust in Him. It was through his faithful belief and of course God's choice that this sort of experience is possible. It should not be the converse, that we use such experiences upon which we base our faith.

So, here some food for thought and reflection, a break from our Chinese New Year festivities.
Happy Chinese New Year all the same!

the final word in the final sentence

2010-01-03T23:09:00.002+08:00

Before we begin a new year of National Service.

3 hours+ of floorball yesterday. Bruise on shin. Bruise on left butt (from friday's cycling with family) So tired that day but because i was playing for mass and hence i was sitting on the piano seat with no back rest, i didn't fall asleep during the homily. Surprisingly during the prac after that i was quite alert.

Okay i drank a bit too much at the cheese and bread gathering at Christine's. And i know i got a bit more vocal. Towards the end. Thanks for letting me sleep over. I must find a solution to this staying over at ppl's houses because it's late and i stay so far away. Gotta learn to drive soon.

Michael vehemently denies that She's the Man is his favourite show. Please contact him to clarify.

Not enough sleep. As usual. I was playing wii this whole afternoon... time wasting. And a bit of floorball on the roof. Coolness. Quite nice to play open air. Aching, and slighly distracted. time to sleep.zzz.

2010

2010-01-01T15:03:00.003+08:00

Well the bread turned out like shit. Haha. first it was too sticky and i couldn't handle it properly, even after adding more flour. next time i'll get the proportions right. second i let it expand too much, then ended up destroying it when i moved it. finally the oven wasn't working so i used the microwave at HIGH for 10-12 minutes. haha disaster! but it was fun. Some parts were chewy edible. Most of it required a steak knife to cut through and some parts just felt like rock.

Happy new year! I really hope it brings better times. And once again, i was too lazy this year to apply. Maybe i should tell Mr Lai several months in advance.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

2009-12-31T13:55:00.002+08:00

To all those who (faithfully, or sporadically) read my blog, best wishes for the new year and whatever lies ahead!

2009 wasn't an easy year for me. Complete change of lifestyle, change of home, among other tough changes.

Anyway i just mixed some flour and yeast and water and hope it'll turn out as bread later. Lol. Maybe u think im crazy (maybe i am), but i like eating. (haha no link) I went for Geri's annual christmas party barbecue and Christine brought her self-made bread, and i loved it! To rank the yumminess of the food:

1. Christine's bread
2. Prawn (WITH SHELL)
3. Beeeeef (i liked the sour, mustardy taste)

Now i can't wait to have another helping with the bread this sat, along with the wine and cheese. I realise i don't hold alcohol as well as i would like. I turn red easily (surprisingly, with my rather tanned complexion. [actually my tan is fake, i get sunburnt easily too])

Okay this is so disorganised. I shall start from the beginning. of the longest HOLIDAY i have for the year.

24th:
Christmas eve. Went to camp. Just for some Christmas celebration with the Battalion. The men put up some performances. I thought their costumes were very well done considering they were stuck in camp for 3 weeks as their first BMT confinement. My boss gave me some chocolates. :D and i wrote a little note to the rest in the office. And an early bookout! Went christmas shopping that was long overdue.

Then in the evening i went to church, all the way in Bishan, for practice and for Midnight mass.

25th:
Christmas! Sorry to those to whom i didn't reply. I kinda knocked out after having supper and post mass celebrations at 5 am. By the time i woke up it was almost time to go for my mum's side family dinner at 5.30. (My dad's side were all in Bangkok enjoying themselves, leaving me alone here in Singapore for Christmas. )): but i used this chance to go out. a lot. :P) I managed to convince my cousin to go for the family dinner if not i'd have no one to talk to. She's just finished As and is going through the painful and stressful process of applying to unis and scholarships etc. We talked to our uncle about his finance job. blah blah.

After dinner i dapaoed some food home for yet another party. With the floorball guys. As expected none of the girls turned up. haha. Which fit into the general activities of the night. MAybe i should blog according to nights instead of by day since every night i had something... Anyway. WE played PS3 (harold brought), and Wii. Wii sports, wii play, fifa, MODERN WARFARE 2. Shit the ps3 graphics are imba. The wii's similar modern warfare's graphics sucked comparatively.

We also played mahjong, dai di and poker. I got owned for mahjong, won back some at the card games, only to lose it all towards the last few games. We all knocked out at different times (except nelson, raj and jianhui). Lucas slept on the couch while Harold actually slept on my bed. (like Jason a few days earlier when we booked out at night and he didn't want to go all the way home) Gross. :P I also died eventually, i bet it was the Baileys that uncle Paul bought from the airport for me when he came back from Bangkok. I forgot to shake it so the first few glasses were quite light and easy to drink. Then when raj came later and i poured him a glass it was more sludgy and quite difficult to swallow.

26th:
Once again, by the time i woke up it was almost time for mass. Hurriedly wrapping the presents i got for the choir cost me practice time. I also thought i'd totally die during the homily but i survived. After mass we went to Geri's place for the barbecue as mentioned above. Benedict provided the entertainment for the night. He was the first the cannonball into the pool, repeatedly and methodically splashing everyone within range (close to the whole world). As expected, Lucas swam. This time, matt, chris and I joined him. I rediscovered my inefficiency at swimming, getting disproportionately tired as compared to running with the same intensity.

At some point in time Nicole Siew called up the swimming guys (how does she do it?) and asked for them to dance. Benedict immediately took it up with so much enthusiasm. Lucas sportingly followed and Chris also joined in, surprisingly. Okay this is starting to sound like reporting. Anyway benedict was totally in the zone, compeletely ignoring the video cam. Infact i think he likes the attention. Alot. ALso it was rather obscene with him raising his hands and dancing in his trunks, shaking around. He has a lack of hair. Like starfish. Which was why they made him raise his hands in the first place. Ew.

After the barbecue those remaining went upstairs to chill. I played the piano (at 11plus, with the soft pedal) while the rest watched some movie. Eventually i went to watch it too. She's the man. Apparently its Michael's favourite show, he said something about its Shakespearean quality. hmmm. Okay. I kinda enjoyed the comedy though i watched it before but why the heck would michael like this kind of show. Its kinda unexpected. i liked the lychee drink that had some alcohol but i hardly could taste it. And i've learnt that i don't like rum. Unfortunately all that trying got me a little red and high. Nothing compared to Lucas though. He even crawled under the table to surprise Geri on the other side. She told me she was totally freaked by his maniacal face peeking out from under the table as she innocently looked away from the tv screen.

After awhile, at about 3, the alcohol took its toll on me and i went to sleep. zzZZzz. My favourite pasttime. The fan was blowing straight at me and i was freezing so i wore my jeans over my shorts. I was vaguely aware of Desmond coming in later and sleeping in a sleeping bag.

27th:
When i woke up at 9 the sleeping bag was empty and it seemed like i was alone in her house. So i went back to sleep. At 11 i realised i couldn't keep sleeping so i woke up and read my book. Finally at about 11plus Geri woke up and told me about what happened after i went to sleep. Michael asking scandalous questions as usual at truth or truth, that i'm not entitled to know anything about. We each had 3 pratas for breakfast. That we both took exceedingly long to eat, being probably the 2 slowest eaters in choir. Her brother woke up later and ate and finished before we were done.

Mid afternoon i went to watch Avatar with half of Section 6. First row seats cos we went late. had to crane my neck. The show sells for its graphics, of the fascinating new world Pandora. But because we were so last minute we had to settle for the 2D version.

By this time i had lost track of the days and nights. After the show i went home briefly to bathe and pack then headed straight for Aaron Tan's place for a stayover with his usual clique, which i'm probably a peripheral member of. Still i felt kinda out. cos they're diehardcore fans of gaming and anime and like 3/4 their jokes are inside jokes unintelligible to the average human being (yes i consider myself a normal human being). We played mahjong (i got bankrupted after taking over a deficit from A. Tan) But who the hell wins 4 times in a row with more than 5 doubles each time. After that it was MODERN WARFARE 2 again, this time on PC. I don't think i did too badly as a newbie. Aaron laid out some mattresses for us to sleep and once again i felt like a was freezing so i went to get my sleeping bag and snuggled into it.

He has BOTH guitar hero and band hero wth! that we didnt play unfortunately. And we had this fantastic chocolate cake with gooey insides and vanilla ice cream PLUS the baileys that i brought there (and forgot to bring back. it was almost empty anyway). It was just heavenly! Warm, thick and chocolatey. Sweet, cool vanilla and Irish cream soaking the sponge, only to meet the unrelenting chocolate goo inside.

28th:
We went lanning instead of watching avatar (oops. cos i watched it earlier. the stayover started at 11am on the 27th but i daoed it and watched avatar instead). I did okay for MW2. Sometimes 2nd place sometiems last place. Depending on map. DOTA was surprisingly not too bad. -ardm. It's disadvantagous for me cos i don't know most heroes and i tend to die very often. But fortunately i got heroes i had used at least once before.

In the evening i went back home finally. But only to shower before meeting harold at Lot one. We watched Sherlock Holmes. I loved the show even more than Avatar. I highly recommend it to those who enjoy the book. And to those who enjoy detective stories and can understand British accent spoken very quickly (of course you can read the chinese subtitles for help. I actually did read the chinese!) I dunno how Professor Moriarty is going to outdo Lord Blackwood in evil.

29th:
Went out with Yin Wai and got something for Uncle Michael. We had dinner at Jack's Place. That night i went to the airport for receive my family finally back from Bangkok. The east west train still functioned so i managed to get to tanah merah. But no more train to Changi Airport by the time i got there. So i took cab. Ouch. My bank account is running low. I've spent more than a month's worth of cadet pay already. christmas is spending time. And when i got into the taxi i realised i didnt know which terminal to go. So i told him t2 and checked the internet through my phone (ouch more money) to find out where their flight would be landing. Luckily it was T2.

I'm glad to have them back again, although i also enjoyed the independence at home when they weren't here. We watched Forrest Gump when we got home. (my first time. their 3rd. They watched it twice there. loved it so much that they bought it.) In the end everyone fell asleep except me, but i was totally foaming. It was a good inspiring show. Wow i've been watching alot of movies.

30th:
My siblings are watching all the 7o'clock channel 8 episodes that they missed. Recorded. I went swimming and gym after dinner cos i felt too unhealthy. Need to maintain fitness myself now that i won't be exercising as much in camp. For supper i made spaghetti (linguine) bolonaise with my mum. turned out edible, probably thanks to my mum's intervention whenever i wanted to do something funny.

31th:
Today. My sister's birthday! and Chin Yang's. I hope the bread will turn out fine.

We're bound to be afraid

2009-12-19T11:32:00.004+08:00

I was (almost) late today for book in. Fortunately i managed to run in sneakily and change in time. Today is the day. My scar is still blue and my tan line is still there.

I'm no longer a Bishan boy. Now living in CCK, away from the world and out of the way. Convenient. I miss Bishan. Spent like...10 years there, longest ever in a particular area.

The feeling is rather mixed, as always; when are feelings clear cut? Excited. Hoping it doesn't rain. Wondering how life'll be life with all the changes. Facing uncertainty with a cheerful face helps. But how.

anyway i recently discovered that cold coffee and an empty stomach don't mix. that was when i tried coffee bean's hazelnut coffee. gah. i keep typing coffee as coffe. too lazy to double tap. And i think starbucks hazelnut latte frap can't match that from coffeebean's. I can't explain this sudden craving for hazelnut lattes but probably the last few times anyone saw me have a frap it was likely that. Please excuse any weird phrasing or grammatical errors. I can't be bothered right now with all that.

Which is gonna be a problem when i start writing my uni app essays again...next year. and when i take those standardized tests like SATs 2. all this is gonna be dependant on how my unit life is like. Btw i got an intel staff job which is STAY OUT!!! Woo hoo. So moving to CCK has at least 1 advantage, reaching home faster every night. But i'd better get the mentality of the-nearer-you-stay-the-later-i-can-leave-house out of my head or else i'll be late very often. (like how it almost happened this morning) Maybe my job will keep my mind active and used to writing. I wanna learn so many things next year, like driving (a car, not just an APC), playing the guitar (which is infinitely more portable than a piano )): ), etc.

Another thing that happened this morning was that my sister fell down and cut her hand. Rather badly it seems, i'm not sure. I really hope she's fine and that she'll recover soon. She might not even be able to attend tonight if its too bad!! Sounds serious. gah. i hate being stuck in camp. Shit. she's going to see a hand specialist.

I hope this evening goes fine and it doesn't rain. But clear skies aren't likely, based on the forecasts.

Little update

2009-11-22T09:14:00.006+08:00

Investigation still pending. I wonder when it'll be done and what's gonna happen. This uncertainty in between sucks.

I was excused camo for 1 week so i didnt have to wear it for tact. tm field camp. It made me stick out like a sore thumb though, and you could sense the jealousy of those who had to put it on. oh well. But on wed i put it on anyway, to be less outstanding, and my sectionmates said i could be charged for not following the MO's orders. I suppose you just can't please everybody. And anyway my excused status doesn't last forever.

The reason for the excused camo is my scar that is so well hidden nobody notices unless i point it out to them. The MO was really slack. He asked whether i wanted to be excused camo. I said no need la. But he gave it to me anyway, saying, aiyah excuse camo won't make you OOC one lah. (I think it can contribute indirectly to that result but i didnt say anything) BUT MY SCAR IS BLUE! Why? When they took out the stitches (blue strings) i thought it was perhaps the colour that run. But it still hasn't faded yet!

And the medics who took it out of khengkia and myself treated us like guinea pigs! I was the luckier one. For kk's ass cut, like everyone (the medics) crowded around to look at it. Even the senior medic came out of his office and joined in, and those random medics who came in to pass stuff went to kaypoh. It must've been very awkward for kk. having so many ppl stare at your butt.

For me, the medic was like, hey come come you try removing la. (telling another medic who'd never done it before) They were all so excited! Eh i'll hold and you go in like this and cut... and im there like, okay quickly do it, stop pulling on the string... The first time cutting medic cut a bit of my eyebrow! Lucky my eyebrow thick. Now my left eyebrow looks a little thinner than before, especially when contrasted to the right one. The painful part wasn't the removal or even the initial stitching, when compared to the removal of the plaster thingy the medic pasted on my face to limit my view. I bet like half the hair on my face and quite a bit of my sideburn and fringe got ripped off. My scar is still occasionally itchy, maybe i shouldnt scratch it so much. *Scratch scratch* Maybe it happens when i'm thinking of doing risky things.

I've been thinking recently, about death and how i still can't face it. Like if i were to die tmr, or if i were told, i'd totally freak. I'm damn scared of it. Yeah it isnt moralising to think about such things during field camp but i just had to, especially after last week's homily about God giving me a second life. My overseas training experience definitely showed me how fickle and temporary life can be, with my head narrowly escaping becoming a crushed watermelon. God has already given me a "second life". Carpe diem! So much to live up to. I hope i remember my experience for life, to always remind me of the fraility of the human life, and what we should ultimately strive for.

It is rather strange that our lives, on average lasting 60-70 years, determines your future for eterni-freaking-ty. Thats like, an amazingly short time don't you think? Compare several decades to forever, and math will tell you, several decades is a negligible value. But apparently not. Perhaps eternity isn't just a bloody long time in the way we understand it. I think in eternity, our human concepts of time and space simply become irrelevant. Heaven is neither a place nor does it exist in the timeline. That's a hypothesis that i'm trying to comprehend. What i'm really afraid of is that when I die, or when my loved ones die, we find out that, damn, we didn't do enough, or God just doesn't accept you into heaven. And then like, shit. Ultimate screw up. Is heaven still heaven when u find out that someone dear to you isn't there? But not only that, even the idea of spending eternity in heaven is daunting. What is it like? A frightening thing to think about. It's probably not gonna be what any of us expect. And just going along, trusting to faith is not easy. A lifelong struggle.

Would you give up your place in heaven if it could save another? or perhaps 5 more in your place?

21 guns

2009-11-11T00:46:00.002+08:00

Monday was fun. Went out with sectionmates the whole day since its a monday and ppl have school and army and whatnot. Got another highscore at bowling. 147. Still shy of 169 though. Oh well. Enough escape now back to reality. In a few hours.

A levels seem to be starting a little later this year. Ending later too. Good luck to all! I wish i could go back to school. Cerish it. The last few months in school. Your friends, the crazy things you do. It may suck from where you see it, but this is the final obstacle. Jia you!

And. If anyone wants to know what my previous post means, drop me a text.

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

I shouldn't be alive

2009-11-08T03:23:00.001+08:00

And yet here I am, awaiting the consequences.

goodnight.

24 days

2009-10-14T22:08:00.003+08:00

I'll be back in 24 days. If only it were that simple. Life has passed by and i struggle to find meaning. It may be okay, not too bad, it may even be enjoyable, but it feels empty and pointless.
I got 2 more punishment essays that i wrote. but they're not with me now so maybe another time.

By the time i get back its gonna be november ): September just ended so quickly without me knowing it and soon its gonna be nov. Then i'll be shifting to CCK and i'll be spending christmas alone in singapore cos my family would be overseas in malaysia. So. Who's up for a party!? lol. that was out of place.

I'm juust bloody sian. Going back to training after this nice 5 day long break. Could have made it more well spent though.

We had our first happy hour. It wasn't very happy. The instructors were sadists whose main aim were to get us all drunk/bloated. Several ppl vomitted and got really drunk. I only drank 3.5 cans. Compared to some of those who drank like 7-8. its really little. (the instructors forced us to drink, not our choice) i was still sane at the end of it. But really dizzy. i kept staggering in the shower. But it was quite a nice floaty feeling. No wonder ppl use it to drown out their sorrows. I had a really good night's sleep that night.

gah i have a million more things to say but i cant rmb now. stressed. gotta leave like 10mins ago.

mind's a whirl.

Double edged sword

2009-08-15T00:57:00.003+08:00

We experience both happiness and sadness in our lives. And to know one, one has to know the other. Yet somehow the pain strikes deeper than the joys can reach, striking deep crevasses of which only the surfaces can be healed by our daily ups and distractions.

i just watched a movie. G.I. Joe. okay it was nice and exciting, the usual save the world (usually by America) kind of show. Action. Could see the attempts to not just be a pure action movie with the inclusion of more human scenes. It was weird going out in the bookout attire and my huge black bag (that i bet looked like a BOMB on the MRT), not alone but in a bunch of similarly outfitted guys. I decided to leave after the movie for various reasons, like not having the house keys, feeling sleepy, long day tmr etc. They...i dunno where they're going. Just as how i dont really know where i'm going with my life. Short term: what am i gonna make out of army. Where will i be posted to. Mid term: Which uni am i going to? What course to study? Scholarship? Long term: Career. Life goals and ambitions. Family?

Which brings me to my final point for tonight. I got accepted by PUB for their NEW scholarship! Yay. If i dont sound excited enough its cos i've gotten over the excitement without it fully sinking in, before i just went back to stone. I'm getting quite good at getting to stone this week. Sianness. 6 yr bond. So if i say yes then i'll be bonded, which may not be a bad thing. I'm just afraid to take that leap of faith, so many uncertainties. Well at least i know now that i really didnt screw up my interview, the first one i thought i didnt.

Now what?

Study where? Local. I'd be more comfortable, but less exposed. Overseas. It'd be more independent, more out of comfort zone.

Study what? Engineering, but what exact field? Minor? Double major? Double degree? And whatnots.

Oh well. Life is uncertainty.

On the uncertainties of life and the future

2009-08-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

School feels like the best time of our lives where we meet so many people and make friends. When we go our separate ways who knows what will happen? We lose touch with our close friends and face the future uncertainties. We all face this. But think instead of the new friends you will make in your uni. Seize the day! Make it the best 4 (5) years of your life. Then after that, make the next few years the best few years of your life again.

I am afraid too. Afraid of facing life. Alone? Maybe. But that's in our control. We can choose not to face it alone. God is with us whether we want it or not. He is probably the only constant in our lives. But i know eventually, all of us will make it one way or another. Still, i don't want to lose the friends that i already know and love.

Weird guy in the street

2009-08-10T15:16:00.001+08:00

Long weekend. Busy weekend. Tiring weekend. I'm so gonna regret not sleeping away this weekend.

Sat: Crabbing with family in the morning. It was a Green Meadows gathering thing, but my dad and uncle got invited by another uncle. Isabelle brought her bf...okay. He's nice although i was biased against him at first. Crabbing is gross. and boring. We stuck the rafia string through the skull of the fish (bait) by threading it from one eye hole to the other side. the juice kept dribblig out and i couldnt get the smell of fish off my fingers that day. Oh. As usual the adults would inevitably do something terribly embrassing that we would have to be part of. This came in the form of unfurling the national flag in the middle of sembawang park and singing the national anthem loud enough for ppl in a 50m radius to hear. Church was okay. Father Gerard was rather insistent on the national anthem coming before the final hymn. hmm? So i played and almost forgot the repetition of the second part even though michael reminded me just before. Apparently i counted wrongly. Eh but Seraphim (right?) also thought we sang it once too many. Oh well. Our dear uncle vellu as usual came in to present us with a face that could frighten a camel into squeezing into the needle's eye. We went for milo supper at rachael's. The initial intent was just to pass her some scores. But it turned out to quite a wacky session, esp when we starting playing with her 2.5yr old brother's toys. Fun leh. Never got such fun toys when i was young. We had alot of fun especially with the air filled doughnutty thingies. Buoys? Yeah. Took michellin photos with it and other weird stuff with the snail and the big bouncy ball.

National Day. First one i didn't watch the parade at home or otherwise... Supposed to be kite flying and marina barrage but due to a massive pangseh we ended up playing pool at paradiz which wasnt too bad either. Xiuhue was the only girl at that time so we couldnt lan.. ): pool also not bad la. Kehui came later for dinner which we took a long time to decide where. And we stoned around talking cock and doing lameass geeky stuff like hangman and peeing monkeys on the iTouch(es). Then we went to Ben&Jerry's (my first time buying it from a shop!) and tried some chocolate flavour, cheesecake brownie and cookie dough flavours. We tricked jianhui into thinking the cheesecake was cookie dough and cookie dough was cheesecake. lol. He got some taste problem. but he figured it out in the end. We spent even more time just talking cock. Quite fun. But i really wanted to lan. Finally, poor raj had to go for his flight to brunei! that very night. how dumb right. public holiday leh. suay. 21days plus JCC. All the best. I know if anyone can make it, it'll be Raj! The only problem i foresee is the shortage of food and water during those 9 days.

Today: Pool again in the morning with clare and isabelle. I hoped they enjoyed themselves, cos i was more pro than they expected due to the practice just yesterday. they improved and it was fun overall. Then clare's friends came and isabelle and i left to avoid awkwardness. Oops too late. Sigh now its gonna be back to camp. I'm installing my orange box (finally), but no time to play it.

Oh WEIRD GUY IN THE STREET. On sat. just before pool. outside paradiz a scruffy old guy approached me and asked for some money to pay for a train to jurong. $1.40 specifically. His eyes were like pointing in slightly different directions, that rather freaky and unfortunate condition. I felt suspicious already, and he spoke in mandarin so it was already some stuggle. So i took out my wallet but realised i didn't have coins when i felt my coins pocket. I told him, sorry i don't have, ask someone else. Then he suddenly knnbccb and walked off. like wtf! Maybe he thought i scam him and just trick him. Whatever. I walked off muttering shen jing bing under my breath.

freedom

2009-08-08T09:20:00.000+08:00

In contrast to that blockbuster post last week, here's just a little update. I'm saying goodbye to my 2nd last long weekend. All subsequent weekends except one shall be extremely, painfully, short. That is, until commissioning. 19th dec!

Goodbye to freedom and the surprisingly large amount of autonomy that i currently enjoy, even in camp. Goodbye to the infantry OCTs going to brunei for 21 days! So long, 10 days was already uncomfortable (but still not much of a kick), 21 is gonna be a blast. Oh well. Taiwan for us armour ppl later on...

On another note, I did 16 pull ups! New pb. Yay.

Brace yourself, its a long one

2009-08-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

okay its been a long time once again. this weekend has been a slightly longer weekend and i finally find time to blog after doing other things to my hearts content (to a reasonable degree, man is never satisfied). I realise a lot has happened since my last post and ive always been to lazy or busy or both to blog. so here goes.

I attended some floorball clinic ages ago i cant rmb when. (it has been ages since i played floorball. at least 2 weeks. i wouldnt mind playing some soon.) It cost $15 per person. Raj, xiuhue and i didnt even know there was a clinic but we just went down to play, to see the whole ISH koped by the organisers. So raj and i signed up on the spot. We thought it was a friendly. Turns out... We managed to convince xiuhue to join in by paying for her share. The whole clinic was quite okay, they covered a lot of basics. I didnt perform up to standard. which goes to show how lacking my basics are. The most interesting thing i took away from the whole experience was that the girls were totally fangirling over the finnish players, esp the cute goalkeeper. Was he really THAAAT cute? Okay. Yes. but dont have to be so kua zhang la. Haha but still funny la. i believe the evidence is on facebook.

Block leave was fun but somehow not as fun as after POP block leave. probably tainted by the brunei trip. Oh brunei. that was so long ago it seems.

Brunei is, in less than 10 words, humid, wet, rainy, cold, and scenic until entering the jungle. I spent like....2.5 days under quarantine. quite ridiculous. Just because i had flu and a 39deg fever on sat and got an MC for monday. I got quarantined immediately for that.... and my officer said i could travel. But the MO there seemed quite unhappy that my superiors allowed this. it was so slack in the quarantine bunk, but it felt like a sick room, a place for the dying. Haha actually we were all quite healthy, just with flu or flu like symptoms, but there was nothing to do since we came prepared for training and hence I didnt bring any books (i was dying to read the wheel of time book III by robert jordan). So all we did was SLEEEEEPP. The WHOLE DAY. MORNING TO NIGHT. woke up for meals, then went back to sleep again. joel pikachiew had ipod with gossip girl in it and watched it all the way but i didnt wanna watch it. instead i borrowed his adrian mole book that he happened to have. I finished it and then got bored. after 2 days i felt really wasting away. i wanted to go back to training, yet i dreaded the huge change in pace, and i felt guilty for being quarantined while the rest chionged around. Turns out when i returned i only missed the introduction to navigation in the bruneian jungles cos the first day of my quarantine was mostly admin.

I was free! Or so i thought. After returning one day from the jungles, I was ordered to drop all my things and move to the side, away from everyone, along with another guy called eugene, who was previously quarantined same time as me. We couldnt even return our rifle and ammo, and were herded to the quarantine bunk, along with one whole group who arrived before us. So i was feeling terribly uncomfortable in my wet (it rained whenever you were dry) and smelly? uniform in the quarantined bunk. after a while my friends brought some stuff for me, dry clothes, and bathing stuff. I eventually got my handphone to update my parents. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this quarantine only lasted half a day, so by the next morning i was released, cos the guy whom they suspected of H1N1 was cleared. I feel sorry for the medic and MO who had to look after us. It was a lot of trouble on their part.

We played some soccer (and basketball, but thats inconsequential. and squash too) at lakiun camp once we settled our admin. We could do that cos we were really fast. Admin was supposed to have been settled on that day, but the night before we already finished everything, hence we had free time. the food wasnt bad. and there were tons of snacks, that made the going easier. our R&R got cancelled cos we didnt want to bruneians to fear us as a source of H1N1 so we went to our headquarters there in brunei (a much better camp), and relaxed. there was free wireless in the canteen and 3 coms to use. the food was even better and i bought a chicken cutlet and tehping from the canteen. yum! To pass the time we had sports, which i was unfortunately unaware of, cos i was too busy watching movies in the multipurpose hall. All in all i watched about 3 movies in brunei! in CAMP! yes this highly unlikely possibility has become reality. I watched the last 2/3s of death race (dumb show, just pure violence, some hot chicks, and attitude), wolverine (i loved it, though it was the pirated version of the one leaked on the net, with some CGI scenes not complete, so it was quite funny sometimes with the grey blocks, and cables attached to hugh jackmans waist), fast and furious 4 (i came too late, watching only the last few minutes and i didnt get a thing), and bedtime stories (a great family movie and a huge laugh. I really enjoyed it. great presleep movie, except after that u get the winded feeling from laughing too much. BUGSY!).

All in all, brunei was okay. It wasn't all fun and games, as my above account might make it out to be, neither was it as tough as scorpion king or section field camp, but it was a balanced, once-in-a-lifetime experience. I had a strange craving for prawn fishing during my quarantine stay, as a direct result of crashing xiuhue and her brother's prawning session just before.

Wah that was a bit too long. i havent much time before...*wince* going back to camp.

Being posted to armour was demoralising. I put it as my first choice, because i knew it'd be tough, i'd regret it, but so that i could see tanks and something different from the rest, something cooler, and to train myself. Let's see how it goes. I believe armour is easily the most tough (in terms of training) support arms, infact it is hardly a support arm. More like a combat support. We go to the frontline when activated. The instructors kept telling us that it wont be easy and all that, and seemed like they didnt expect our consequent low morale. however i can testify that the training so far in fact has been very comfortable, with lots of free time and night, and adequate bookout time. We book in at 10pm on sunday! Unprecedented lateness, compared to SAFTI. The training day is quite packed though, there's a lot to learn, but army being army, during those times where many people are involved, there's bound to be some waiting, and that waiting time serves as a break. We learn so much, about our vehicles and weapons, and DRIVING. I find it really stupid that I drive a "lightweight" (according to the tutorial) 12 tonne AFV before i lay my hands on a car's steering wheel. But oh well. COOL. We're still learning, its really bumpy but it seems quite user friendly. The instructors (who are not those directly responsible over us, just in charge of teaching us say...gunnery, or driving) are more laid back in terms of attitude with some bad eggs who spoil the whole atmosphere. we can tell sometimes they just wanna end fast so that they can book out and go home by sundown. oh well. works for me since it gives us the night free.

Oh because of that adrian mole book i read in brunei i suddenly borrowed 2 more from the library and cleared them during my free time, in and out of camp. As well as this book titled Big Bang, which described the development of the theory and how it was possible. Quite interesting. Accessible to the lay community yet provides a good understanding of the thing. Yup so lots of reading. I'm gonna get more books. :D

on food. i had crab on fri. black pepper and chilli. at pang xie zhi jia at serangoon. Not bad. recommended by jimathan. black pepper a bit too spicy and salty though. but okay. watched murderer with them that night. in mandarin but there were subtitles that i was trying not to read as training (michael even commented ytd that my chinese not bad ah! haha yeah man! but its micheal :P so not sure how credible the comment is). I wouldnt recommend the show to others. Psychological horror. slightly overdramatic music. intriguigin plot but the gore is a bit too much. That turned it for me. And the twist, okay la, on a scale of 1 to 10, i'd give it a 3 for believability (is this a word?). Fortunately its not too believable or i'd be watching my back all the time. Chilling to the bone. Fri was packed. ATI 4th anniversary at SAFRA (the reason for my early bookout), Lan, pool, dinner, then movie!

I also made the muesli bars again, with less decorations (less hua she tian zhu). Just plain, and it turned out better. yummier. I brought it to camp and it attracted all the ants. It went down. My stomach.

Okay im sure theres much more to food in the last...2-3 weeks but i cant rmb now. Udders icecream. only tried one scoop but i feel like trying more flavours. Just had a dumb instant noodle craving and had instant noodle dinner.

Yup im coming to terms with my lack of internet in camp, by getting books, playing other ppl's psp (andrew's addiction), and hp games. ohoh. in brunei i mentioned the free wireless internet? I used my phone to connect but i realised i was using the GPS internet instead of the free wireless. A realisation too late, i returned home to a bill of over $100 bucks. Ouchies.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I loved it. fullstop. the end couldve been better though, a bit abrupt, and incomplete, but i dont think its a sucky movie. I think they did a good job on the plot. EMMA WATSON! her acting was really good. For a fuller movie review , check out Vinod's on facebook. Really comprehensive, witty and balanced.

I've written more songs and i feel like recording them all. From the first few to the last. No chance though. and im too lazy.

Finally, my BIRTHDAY. It was a really memorable one. There was the usual birthday wishes through sms and on facebook, i got the ORANGE BOX that i asked for, so now i can play TF2! but i just realised i havent played it yet.AAAAAH. Next bookout! ! ! I got like a million cakes! Cheesecake from xiuhue, cup cake from not-so-little-anymore marianne quek, chocolate macademia nut cake from royce, jane and yufang, and carrot cinnamon cake from my mum! I came back after night prac on sat, fell asleep on the beanbag (its cursed, like that field chair in the CSH, to make ppl who lie/sit on it sleep) while watching some local movie that my parents borrowed and we were all watching, only to be woken up by my mum telling me to answer the phone. It was a call from yufang asking me to go downstairs cos something happened. It sounded bad, like some family thing. I was still half dead and zombieing around, but the strange thing was that my mum was egging me to quickly go down and meet "them". THEM! I thought it was only yufang. So i was confused and i wandered down to the bball court to find royce jane and yufang with candles all over the floor! unfortunately i took so long the rain fell into the candles and splattered the wax (which we had t o clean up eventually). It was a surprise bday cele! okay i was stunned but now i realise it was suspicious from the beginning. Yufang said that if she really wanted to commit suicide, she would've died, i took so long.... oh well cant blame me i was really sleepy. THANKS for the surprise. (i sorta paid it back during yufangs bday, or rather 3 days before on a sun, cos i had to book in, when royce and i crashed her house to bring her cake. we played scrabble with her yougner bro whos like some scrabble pro. i was really sleepy that weekend cos i had to wake up so early for that surprise, before she went to church.) The cheesecake from xiuhue was also a surprise, i thought it was just lunch, but turns out she made a cheesecake with a nutella smiley on it that i totally destroyed with my clumsiness when i carried it. THANKS XH! My cousin's selfmade cupcake was yet another surprise with a huge G on it, that looked half like a fish and half like a 6. haha.

I'm sure there's many more things that have happened that i've missed out. Sorry if i didnt mention something i did with who and who. Cant rmb. Rachael (Chen) mentioned something yesterday. That i looked "both/either sad and/or tired. Or mayb u've (I've) been looking like tt for a while". Well. Perhaps i have... But i was really glad on my birthday though.

On life and happiness (or lack thereof)

2009-06-18T08:38:00.002+08:00

But what if indulging in some misery gives you a sense of contentment, an acceptance of your human fraility? There must be both. If you're always high, life would become plain, dull and meaningless; if you're always blue, life would lose its colour and vibrancy, and be wasted away.

But it isn't good to be too moderate as well. A straight horizontal line at zero on the graph of life's happiness against time is a terribly uninteresting life. Neither is it healthy to oscillate between two extremes. You'd never know what it is like to experience normalcy. And any sense of peace is also shattered.

I tend too much towards the dull moderation with an inclination towards the negative side. But somehow I feel content. Like. Numbed, stoned, dead. I enjoy my happiness, but once its gone i hardly miss it. Its more of an acceptance of life's ups and downs. Which puts me in danger of not fighting for improvement.

this is unreal.

2009-06-15T01:01:00.003+08:00

I've also changed my view on the people at camp. Now after most of the shit which is too much to describe, i think most of them are not only decent people, but also very good catches. yeah strange thoughts, but i see them as friends first, competitors second, not that there is any reason to compete. but the whole atmosphere is that of competition. sigh. makes me feel inadequate. they're stronger, faster, smarter, more confident, more sociable, capable, etc.

So this is what it feels like.

On another note, this bookout has been spent eating. Even before i first reached home my dad and I ate at cheeky chocolate. Beef stew, cheeky chocolate crepe, cheeky chocolate cake. SUper chocolatey, but i still fell asleep during the homily. I got a nice 9 hrs rest last night (: Brunch at cafe cartel. I like the latte. and the difference in quality of the western food, compared to those urgh stuff at camp, is really very evident. IKEA MEATBALLS for dinner! Haagen Daz ice cream. classic chocolate and vanilla. Tmr i have a strange craving for nicely cooked instant noodles with egg for breakfast.

Numb to the World

2009-06-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

Well that was my umbrella and helmet essay, written on the 15th of Apr, because I ran in the rain towards the training shed holding the helmet above my head as shelter. How dumb right. Yes it is, you cannot disagree. oh i edited some of it while typing. some grammar mistakes and awkward sentences. thats not to say its in perfect english now...

anyway. IM FREE!!!!! its been 6 weeks+ and the world has moved on without me. A new MRT line has opened, theres now a shop & save near my house, i've gotten 2 months worth of untouched salary in my bank account, and my parents have sold my little sister away.

Okay i was kidding about my sister. She's in cross country now. And she's GOOD. 3.5km in 15:22? That's like 2.4km in 10:32. I only reached that timing early sec 3, and i ran 2.4km not 3.5km! And she's tiny! Even for a sec 1. Her legs are like twigs and i can lift her with one arm... Oh well. Imma proud brother!

I can't wait to try taking the new circle line. From bishan to marymount to go to school. Sounds like the ultimate lazy bum's dream. Ah! I shall do that tmr, when i collect my certs.

Last night was nice staying back to talk with ryan, michael and rachel. It was so cold! In the main church too. I think army has conditioned me to living in the heat. Our dear uncle vellu (right?) came and chased use away at 10:15, but we stayed till midnight. Then climbed the wall to get out. Brought the keyboard home to practise, but i forgot the bag. Sigh. Tmr must go back and get. We took taxi back (minus rachel, who just walked home) cos i'd look more like a retard than i already am if i were to take the bus with the keyboard, and the other 2 (who stay so far away) just conveniently latched on, leaving me to pay the fare (with my no-longer-untouched allowance). Well they'll pay me back later. They'd better.

Current mood: Stoned. I wasted the whole afternoon stoning on the com, just mindlessly surfing. If i were playing a game, at least i'd have fun wasting my time...... So dumb. And yes. My first bookout in ages. I dunno what to do with my time. I made no plans till later, which were cancelled eventually. I'm just numb to everything. To pain (a little), to freedom and to the lack of it, to nagging, to punishment. That mechanism i used to survive 1.5months of confinement isnt doing me good out here.

So I tried to make that muesli bar Zach brought into camp a million years ago. I couldnt find his recipe so i just used one online and anyhow zhng it with white chocolate, chocolate chip and banana nut crunch cereal instead of just oats. I left it too long in the oven and the top is slightly burnt. And the taste is kinda weird cos i overzhng. Hua she tian zhu. too many flavours together. Next time (if there is one) i'll just stick to a few that complement each other.

The Difference Between A Helmet & An Umbrella

2009-06-14T23:05:00.004+08:00

A helmet and an umbrella are 2 very different objects that ordinarily would not be compared under normal circumstances. However, due to my own folly, this unlikely comparison has surfaced, and I would like to describe in detail some of their more subtle differences. The 3 main areas I would be discussing are: their physical differences, their differences in purpose and symbolism.

The most evident factor to consider is the shape of these 2 objects. The umbrella is wide and spacious, covering a large area, protecting the user from rain and harsh sunshine. Conversely, the helmet is small and compact, and is hence much more ineffective at sheltering one from the elements, as I had found out this afternoon. Furthermore, holding the lightweight umbrella handle is so much more convenient and less tiring than holding the dense helmet two-handed above one's head.

One interesting comparison to make would be that the umbrella is soft and flexible on the outside, but hard and stiff on the underside, while the helmet is hard and stiff on the outside but soft and adjustable on the inside.

While umbrellas come in a variety of shapes and sizes, of colours and patterns, lengths and sturdiness, the trusty SAF helmet only has S, M & L sizes, and comes in either the distinct pixellised pattern or the classic camouflage pattern. The military helmet is clearly limited in variety, while the commercialised umbrella is highly diverse in both appearance and dimension. It would not make sense to create helmets differing in type or design unless there is a practical reason for doing so, whereas it would not do to have only a few types of umbrella. This is due to the difference in their fundamental natures, their purpose in construction and their uses.

The helmet is designed to protect the frail human head, ironically so because the brain is already naturally protected by the skull, hence in a way the helmet serves as a fortified skull. The umbrella is also primarily used as a shield, albeit against rain and shine, as is mentioned above, but it is also used for secondary purposes. This versatile object doubles as a walking stick for the elderly or tired out, and doubles as a weapon in emergency situations as well. In addition, umbrellas have recently joined the ranks of fashion accessories of the modern woman and is used as part of an outfit or as an expression of one's style. This explains the greater variety in type as the focus has shifted away from the practical towards the aesthetic. The helmet, on the other hand, still largely remains true to its practical roots.

Now, to move on to the less tangible characteristics of the umbrella and helmet, offering an umbrella to someone else could be one of the following:

A kind or considerate act (i.e. given to a stranger in need, stranded in the rain)
A romantic/friendly/comforting gesture (i.e. a guy shelters a girl; Rihanna's "Umbrella")
A symbol of forgiveness (i.e. given to an enemy or someone with whom one has just quarrelled with)

These examples have been dramatised in movies and novels, and even in pop music. The helmet has its own share of this infusement into our culture, but in a different way. Most prominently, the distinct yellow helmet worn by construction workers and contractors is symbolic of safety, commonly used at construction sites littered all around our highly urbanised, concrete jungle Singapore. It has become such a distinctive icon that at sites of building collapses and other accidents, it is immediately possible to distinguish a rescuer from a common civilian. Many professions also use helmets as part of thier operational uniform, such as the firefighters on the ground. It is all too easy to image a scence where a brave yellow-helmeted firefighter emerges from a burning and collapsing building carrying a wailing infant in his arms. Although this has been over-dramatised in moveies, it only goes to show the extent to which we see helmets as a symbol of the spirit of professionalism.

In conclusion, while on the surface the helmet and umbrella may not have many common platforms on which they can be compared, I believe that there is a deeper implication behind each of these items and it was perhaps to do injustice to both, having mixed up their uses, for me to have misused the helmet the way I did, as I would use an umbrella.

time

2009-04-26T18:41:00.002+08:00

Okay speedblog time. I have to leave in 10 mins latest. (oops ive exceeded)

IPPT:

Yay! very happy. Personal best. And the whole wing did very well. my platoon got like...28/36 ppl who got gold. its so insane. everyone runs so fast. like between 9:15 and 9:45 got like 35 ppl out of 50. about la. k my results:

Sit ups: 64! I was quite happy. My aim is 70 now. Zhang did 69 next to me! Which made me try to beat him but i lost...
Pull ups: 15! (i think. its my current pb. which is an improvment compared to 13 in bmt. yah lah isnt much but i'll continue improving)
Shuttle run: Only thing i didnt improve at. I think its a combination of a few factors, the floor, the timer and of course my own physical condition. Lucky we didnt get Nadjad this time. nadjad's timings are like +0.4 to your normal timings.
SBJ: 250cm. no change there. aiming for 260
2.4km: 9:14 yay1!! okay not that great compared to all those in the platoon. but its a personal achievement! cos i ran with chester. he did 9:13. I couldve beaten him at the final stretch but it was too squeezy and it didnt matter much cos he was within my arm's reach. He slowed down at the last 5m! I shouldve started sprinting at the 300m mark. ohwell. next ippt. Aim for sub 9 eventually.

MOSQUITOS:
THEY ARE ANNOYING BUGGERS. I got at least 5 bites on each limb. I think its closer to 10. But still short of Aaron Tan's 100plus. oh well. Sleeping in mosquito net is sooooo hot. esp lately weather so killer. and it doesnt help!! cos mine got a hole. and though i stuff the hole with my blanket and put insect repellent around it, for 3 days in a row i've woken up to find mosquitoes WITHIN my mosquito net. (2nd day there were 3! mosquitoes within the net) YUCKS. so instead of being my protection its like being sealed up in a enclosed space with those bloodsuckers. Couldnt sleep very well this week cos of the heat and mosquitoes. Every single mosquito i killed (those within my net) had my blood in them. Now my bedsheet and blanket has small splotches of blood. ew. whatever. laundry day is mon. now my body is full of bites and sore (where i scratched the bites). very uncomfortable.

Oh i forgot to mention last week when i was at home sleeping i got cramps in my left calf but was too tired to care. so when i woke up it hurt like it felt damaged. but fortunately for ippt on tues it was okay. though i could still feel the tightness.

MATADAOR:
that and m2o3 live firing was cool. i dont think i should say much cos of the restrictions and all. but thats something i wont forget. unless i go arty or armour and see more pro stuff. fun la. but so ex! like $5k per shot. so wasted right. im a bobo m2o3 grenadier. oh well.

Mass:
I felt like i participated more this time, though i was so late i missed all the readings (joined during homily, cos of late book out) what came to me this mass was not only how the church is my own personal sanctuary every weekend, but also that i have a responsibility here. And ive been mistaken in making utilitarian decisions rather than moral ones. Making ppl unhappy isnt necessarily wrong but i always tend to avoid those situations. So i'll try to make my decisions based on a better justice system. Marianne came briefly and talked to us. I think we all really miss her (at least the older ones who knew her). hope one day she can come back to conduct. I'm afraid the choir is dying. Everyone is moving on...growing up and living their lives. The left out age group is the young adults. And we're getting to that stage soon. Hope the choir lives. Stress on michael and des and lucas and whoever's in charge. Practicality seems to rule in singapore.

Okay back to reality. back to camp.

Every heartbeat a throbbing ache

2009-04-19T18:50:00.002+08:00

I feel like the doctor in Sixth Sense (which i watched yesterday night at ding's, and which was freakishly good). No one gets my smses while though i can receive. Stupid phone. How how. Must call. Or email.

Back to camp soon. So much to think about. So much to do.

Every heartbeat a throbbing ache
Where is the warmth?
Blood and tears, drained and shed
Filled instead with cold.
When is the blood coming back?
Will it ever?

Nothing left to do but waste my time

2009-04-11T10:22:00.006+08:00

Sigh. Life feels so pointless, so goalless. Just drifting through.

It seems i write song lyrics without writing the music. Soon, when i feel the time is right. I will write in the music. Hmmm the lyrics/poem i wrote, "Seize the day" is rather deep. Only i know its full meaning. See "Seize the day" post, and:

"Walking down the beach
on a perfect Saturday evening
not a cloud in the sky
a breeze is gently blowing."
-From an earlier post. Really early post.
But still...I remember it.

I'm finally out, back to the world!!! Right. So what. Seriously. I'm not excited about it as i was before. Totally numbed. Like there's nothing to do right now. Yup. So there's that really lost feeling. I mean i can entertain myself with the com and tv and stuff but it doesn't feel really satisfying. Like only skin deep contentment.

I had more dreams in army. Surprising. 2 days (nights) stood out particularly. About running and fighting, as usual. The first dream was about a gunfight, and shooting innocents ): so guilt-inciting. It was also about protecting the people i love. The second dream was melee combat, more like a com game. Nothing much to say about it except that it got my heartrate up.

I think i'm turning into a much more boring person. Circumstantially. What with A lvls and enlistment. Sigh. I miss having enough free time to do interesting things with people. Even this post is so dreary. Oh well.

Have to go back to camp soon. The facilities are great, the food is good but the sleep inadequate. Lonely. Not much time to communicate with friends and the outside world. And the people there are different from that in BMT. More outspoken, and more annoying. I have yet to connect with them on a deeper level. I don't feel comfortable trusting them. Still, i'll try my best not to make it a waste of time. I want to make the most out of it but sometimes really i think to myself, "what's the point?"

My instructors are quite nice really, especially compared to some other wing instructors, not that i'm comparing. But some of them are ultra mood swingy. Or maybe its a quality, of having two sides to the coin, two images. Weird. It feels a bit fake and unnatural. I hope i don't have to become like that to be a good leader. Okay. Now for two quotes by a random instructor: "If you see a hazard, just report it to the instructor. He may ask 'what the hell do you want me to do" and then f*** you a bit. But then he will get it resolved later." "I'm getting married in July. [Applause] First comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering." Okay whatever. I just put these for the sake of putting them.

I really dunno what to do anymore. Feel rather tired and stoned out. If i only knew what i should do to make things right, I'd do it. Maybe things will get better. Hoping, waiting.

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

silence before the plunge

2009-03-22T18:55:00.002+08:00

i shouldnt be awake.

outline of the past week. it was really the most enjoyable week i've had since... forever.

Sat:
NTU open house. Erm. Sorry but i dont think i wanna go there. Too many foreigners. Not very comfortable. I went with Xiu Hue and Shermin (whom i wasnt supposed to forget). And Shermin was surprised i talked so much. hm. am i usually that quiet? or is it cos of circumstance..like A lvls? Oh oh. They gave a dynamo powered torch. So cool! I'm bringing it into camp.

Sun:
NUS open house. I think i wanna study there. The USP talk was so boring i fell asleep. but then again, i fall asleep most of the time. But the engineering talk speaker was good so i didnt! And the science talk was useless. After that i went with the Aaron Tan clan. clique. cult. whatever. haha. Lanning was fun! Didn't play left4dead though, so i felt a bit cheated. It was nice meeting them.

Mon:
OH. BAKED PASTA. Made by xiuhue. It wasnt as failure as she thought. Or maybe im just a trash can for food. Then we went queensway to buy sport shoes and i bought another mizuno! And she got me a HUGE bag of maltesers and hooked on word challenge.... my score is pathetic. Demoralising. And my sister effectively finished half of it in a day.

Tues:
Shopping with venus, christine and ashley. BUBBLE TEA. Ex. Thick and sweet. Really gooood. Die die must try. I got new jeans! And with the thumbs up from venus and the rest. so okay. Ashley bought a slip of paper! Actually it was a cd, but to be sent later. Christine got a denim skirt. And venus got... a good look at things he might want to buy later when there's a sale.

Wed:
Stay home apps day. Sian. Saw a doctor too. Had to chiong apps the whole of this week. DSTA scholarship due. I missed the PSC deadline by 1 minute cos i took too long to write the essay. So fumb. I think i was just spamming apps this whole week. Which isnt a very good idea. They might get the wrong impression of me. hmmm.

Thurs:
I think it was another apps day. Can't really rmb. Oh! Platoon outing at night. LAN again! YEah. Left4dead. Then dinner at fish&co which left me utterly bloated (thats saying something. probably the fat and cheese). Yan shi's birthday was 2 days ago so he got 10% discount for his table. Like ONLY his table...cos each table was paying seperately. Fumb. If only we could all get the discount. Oh well. And he got a free ice cream. But the best part was that the staff sang a song and did a cheer for him, alerting all the other customers. He (already 1.8m+ tall) stood on HIGH chairs and held a sparkler in each hand while they did it! smiling sheepishly. IT WAS HILARIOUS. Later on another customer had the birthday thingy. But she didnt have sparklers and neither did she stand on chairs. Haha. Looks like yanshi got the worse end of the deal. After dinner was MORE LAN! 16 ppl lan. BEST LAN so far. As usual, i topped the frag list for CS. (:

Fri:
I think it was another stay home apps day. More like slack around. Oh yufang came over to teach me guitar. And she gave me homework =/ My days and nights by now quite screwed up already. I slept at 7am this morning i think. And woke at 12? 1? Supposed to play soccer with RI GEPs at 10/crash floorball match at 8 but well....too tired. Said i wasnt feeling well. Family dinner at amk crab place. Yummy. I LOVE FOOD. Okay you probably knew that by now

Sat:
BTT in the morning. Ha. I passed it! barely studied. Read the manual in camp and mugged along the way. Whew made it. I really thought i'd fail (get more than 5 out of 50 wrong). So scary. The guy on my left failed and left early. Mass was okay, like i should have paid more attention, but the singing was good in general. New members! Okay they have quite squeaky voices but im sure that they can be trained. They seem friendly enough, except that they were so shy to get sectioned. After prac i went home and actually cooked supper. I surprised my sisters and myself too. They said it was NICE. Wanton noodles with sesame oil. Then i dumped a can of (spicy tomato) sardines with garlic and herbs onto it. Like some sorta pasta. I overcooked the noodles till they became soggy but my sisters liked it soggy ...so oh well. I liked it too. Self satisfaction ((:

Sun:
Depressing day. Time to go back. NOOOO. Went for the DSTA tea session (only cos i thought if i didnt go, they'd think im not interested in their scholarship). Yufang didnt go cos she forgot. =/ The talks were quite useless and boring so i fell asleep a bit (i think my dad did too). But after that we (my dad mostly) talked to the poeple standing around and they left us with a good impression of the organisation. (and left me more confused with regards to my choices) The FOOD was more than AMPLE and YUMMY. I didnt get to try all )))): cos everyone was gone and we talked too much. And my dad had to rush off to meet a client. So...little time. the chaitowkuay was nice. Black salty and with shrimp. Yummy. Okay. Reality bites. Back to camp. 1 month confinement at SAFTI. Oh. I got into OCS. oh joy. haha. a double edged sword la. Looking forward to it while dreading it immensely. Gah.

Rest easy

2009-03-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

Met up with RI(JC)/CHS/both people today. For...mahjong and lunch (i thought lunch only. turned out to be lunch + lan + dinner). It was strangely fun and very uplifting. It seems like jc made me forget how to have fun. Like i can be who i am without being self conscious. Very liberating.

Mahjong was a blast. I'm not really a mahjong fan, just wanted to meet up with a few friends (and kope WCIII along the way :P). Turns out the noob got lucky and i won like... 5 tais in the first few games. Woonie almost caught up later with a qingyise, but meiyi's bankruptcy ended the game prematurely and we turned to more childish exploits. Overall i got the most money (chips only ): ). HA!

Anyway the childish thingy was instigated by me (only possible when i feel unreserved enough). Aaron tan had 2 nerf toy guns on the table, temptingly half loaded. I pointed it out and soon woonhian and i were having a childish toy gun battle, using the skillzzz learnt from BMT of course, taking cover behind... er. chairs and sofas and the like, doing leopard crawls so the opponent couldnt see the movement. Quite dumb really. But never felt so free in a long time.

Woonie vs me - Commando boy vs Tekong boy. I won. Cos he had major problems with his gun. Kept IAing. Like he never load properly and cock properly. And he's SLOW at loading. Even though meiyi kept throwing the spare ammo to him, he didnt load it fast enough. In the end i realised that gun had some problems with the spring. So... blame the gun! Not the guy!

Woonie vs A. tan - Woonie and his gun got another whooping. A. tan is probably the most accurate among us.

Me vs A. tan - well...i sorta got hit several times in a row repeatedly. But i hit him on many more occasions, albeit with only one hit each time. So... hard to tell who won. But this match was much more exciting and tiring, cos i crawled quite a bit, traveled about his living room quite a bit, had his trampoline fall on me (that hurt). This time i used woonie's gun, which had the IA problems... Meiyi didnt participate in the boistriousity (if there's such a word).

Poor aaron's granddad. He was innocently reading his newspaper there on the sofa with all the little sponge bullets flying all around him. Haha. Quite amusing to think about it. A poor civilian caught in the crossfire. We even used him as human cover sometimes. Lol. So evil right.

I think aaron should tune his piano. And his dog kit smells like dog.

CHS gathering was kinda failed (or so i thought at first). I was 40mins late and there were 3 ppl there. We went for lunch at dintaifung and were joined by shuyuan. Jared and chin yang were... very conflicting in their responses. Like we never were sure whether they were coming or not. So i hope this blog post makes them regret for not coming. It was FUNNNN!!!!! understand. Be jealous. Ha.

Lanning in a group of 5. We played CS and dota. All of us being noobs, i owned at cs, with mark in second place (quite far behind. :P) I got owned at dota 3v2 (i was in the 3 man team), nothing new there, though i was the least owned in my team. (at least my deaths weren't double digit) Yup. so that sorta hints at how badly owned we were.

Then david, shuyuan and weijie left. Leaving only maggot and me. Damn. We were waiting for both jared and chinyang. WHO NEVER SHOWED UP. Feeel guilty nowww. So mark and i played left4dead with some random ppl at the lan shop till they decided to play dota. Then we just played by ourselves. I wanted to play left4dead for a long time. and it didnt disappoint me! Except i can imagine it being monotonous and repetitive, unless u enjoy shooting to bits throng after throng of undead zombies. Which i do to a reasonable extent. Haha. Zombie's are amusingly cute in their own imperfect AI way. They're so blur and slow reaction. Like u can shoot them and they're all like... huh? whats going on? Until they go berserk of course. Then they lose all cuteness.

Oh. I managed to satisfy my irrational craving for starbucks coffee today, specifically those bottled ones in 7-11. Yum! The anticipation tasted better than the actual drink. As is always the case.

Thoroughly enjoyed myself today! Long day and stressful apps tomorrow. Gah. All good things must come to an end. But that doesn't mean u don't pursue them just because they do end. It was worth the time and energy. Cos life is full of ups and downs. Now that I've seen more, lower, and longer lows than before, I've come to appreciate the highs better too. No regrets :P Just more rushing to catch up (on apps and such) later. Time to rest!

POP

2009-03-12T15:18:00.002+08:00

24km was surprisingly less tiring than expected cos the pace was soooo slow. But my feet and shoulders still hurt. Now my heel has all those callouses, just like my palms (from pull ups). I feel like getting a massage, foot and/or back. but dunno where to go to get one. Any recommendations anyone~?

I think my platoon mates (and PC) were surprised to hear me lead some songs during the 24km. at least now they (myself included) know how my voice sounds like loud. It was nice to be able to lead and not struggle with breathing due to the weight and pace.

My dad found the parade different. like less formal. i was surprised yet again. i thought it was quite shitty. maybe different perspective la. Spending countless hours of standing and marching in the rain and sun just to practise kinda changes your view of the whole thing.

We didnt even walk in step the way in. Gah. I'm gonna start bitching about all those people who just CANNOT keep in step. like absolutely NO sense of rhythm. even with the timer right next to them. Its a problem of not being able to control your body. Like they have a constant pace, either too fast or too slow, usually too slow.. and they just maintain that pace like a lumbering bear so at some points they'll be in step and at others they'll go out of sync. dunno if u can imagine. like 2 waves having different frequencies so they will be in and out of phase at different points - interference patterns. (Ha i still remember some physics)

I hate it when people sing out of rhythm. They just change the timing and everyone doesnt know whether to continue marching at the original tempo set by the timer or to the new tempo set by the song. Then it becomes so messy. This is soooooooo avoidable and sooooo exasperating when they do it repeatedly in a single march from company line to cookhouse.

Anyway back to parade. 2 companies next to each other when marching in is not only squeezy (hence cannot march properly) but also noisy (hence cannot hear timer). What was worse was that there were 2 timers giving 2 different timings cause they cannot hear each other. In the end acting sergeant major had to step in to shout the timing. Stupidity at a peak. Army is so full of stupid moments.

Strangely I'm gonna miss BMT. the ppl i've met, the new friends i've made. people are really diverse and interesting in different ways. not perfect, but im not bitching about them here. they're generally very nice. and we're too smart for our own good sometimes.

Worried about unit posting. Worried about uni and scholarship apps. Worried about life and growing up. Oh well. everyone has their own set of problems.

Seize the Day

2009-03-07T23:32:00.004+08:00

Hanging by a thread
Spun from a forlorn hope
Forming a silken web of safety
Holes ignored, eyes closed, trusting to fate

Clutching at old straw
Like hay left in the sun
To dry and wilt in the heat slowly
Withered, desp'rately seeking respite

A wisp of smoke, a memory
Grey thoughts and words, a melody
Still sounds, still rings, that brings to mind
The streets once walked we hoped to find

Thirsting deep within
Empty wells of water
Tease the crippled mind and the parch'd throat
Surface rippled, fuzzy, all unclear

Reaching far away
Completely beyond gaze
What hope there is lies in the future
Too far off, transcending time and space

A beam of light, a golden ray
Had pierced through clouds, made light of day
From up above, the world so high
Lacked but a diamond in the sky

Hello there, strange blog readers

2008-11-17T02:45:00.003+08:00

As the title suggests, yes i call you, dear blog readers, strange people. Because i know you not. Unless you comment (wink wink*) Anyway i just wanted to blog the day before physics 'A's at 3 am. (suddenly. after 1 year) Its almost there so i guess that counts. Yes i have strange desires. (to do random things, nothing else. swear.)

I've lost my wits. Literally. maybe its the product of 2 years of horrible horrible JC life. I have lost my creative ability!!! The suanning, the bitching, the online flaming was fun while it lasted. Pity. I think it takes a lot of brains to do it entertainingly. Oh well. Right now im not doing too well on that cos of the stupid 'A's filling up my brain with de Broglie's formula, and what not. Haha. Who am i kidding. I've been slacking all day. I'm just a dull no life. (Haha shunta, beat that for self-non-appreciation.)

And in response to Jared's aeons ago comment to not always be so apologetic about my posts, i shall now proceed to complain about RJ.

Girls. I think i did complain about them in a previous post somewhere. Nothing personal. If i were a girl, i'd go BOYS! and start bitching too. Cos in RJ, life just isnt the same anymore, as it was in RI. I'm just feeling nostalgic like in my previous post. but this time im missing the old sec sch days where everyone was just so free and unreserved. Cos everyone has to be more guarded and polite around girls, and im sure it works the other way round too.
(Hm that was rather short and sweet and politically correct. I've lost my fire.)

I wouldn't mind taking on kahhou everyday as long as i can relive the old days. (im soooo old.)
Btw if jared or ashley happen to see this could u please send me your fanfics? THE fanfics. You know what im talking about.

Oh how i miss the sound of "Gguuuuuuaaaaaccckkkkk!!!!!"

Nostalgia

2007-12-11T00:03:00.001+08:00

It's been a month since i last blogged and so many things have happened. So many things.

Well a major change would be that i've just shifted from Bishan to Bishan. From Sin Ming Ave to St 13. Well. That explains the title. I miss a lot of things. Didn't think i'd be so sentimental but considering that i've spent the last 6 years of my life there, which is pretty much most of my sentient period, i do have some reason to feel so much for it.

But i think im being overly affected. Dunno why. really. Anyway. I read a few of my older posts and realised how angsty and mean i was. Sorry to those people who i picked on. But. Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it at the time. So maybe there's an inner bi**h within me.

And i used to write so loooong! And it was quite witty la. Not bad. Not sure if i can still write like that. or maybe i can only write like that when insulting people.

Recently had to clear out stuff. Unpack and throw away things i didn't want. Felt like i was throwing what was left of my childhood away. Still havent unpacked. It's been 2 weeks i think. So slack. I can't believe how hardworking i was in the past compared to now. Maybe its cos i had more time and energy then to actually do my schoolwork. And time and energy to persue other things. Interests. General knowledge. I feel like i've stagnated.

My mind is bloated. Like i cannot put more stuff into it anymore unless i throw stuff away to empty some space. My brain has stopped growing!! Now i'm facing memory shortage. So i forget things easily. I think my brain is throwing away my childhood memories to make space for useless school stuff. Stuff i'd probably never use in my life. Hence that feeling of loss and nostalgia.

One thing stays the same though. Still pretty much pessimistic. And angelic (really!). And i still think life sucks. But life sucks worse for other people so i've no right to complain.

brain dead

2007-11-02T16:11:00.000+08:00

Time to break away from the endless rant against PW.

But i still have some things to say regarding PW.
PW OP was a flop. I got too nervous when it was my turn and i stumbled several times. Got better as i went on though. Crap. could hear the uncertainty and nervousness in my voice. At least the whole group presentation flowed.
I think i did better for the Q&A than my speech. k. dont wanna think about it anymore.

I&R due tmr at 11. But since i wont be able to make it in school at that time. I have to submit it today! yay. But its 4+ and i still havent completed it. in fact ive barely started. And i have to go to church early at 6.50 for practice with the old ladies from the sodality group. I hope none of them surf blogs.

So counting travelling time, that leaves me with about 1hr 45mins. But i dont have the guidelines for I&R... or the model I&Rs given out. hmm.. ok... excuses. I should get to work.

ok enough of PW. for the rest of my life. I guess i didnt break away from ranting about PW....Stupid pipes.

Guess what

2007-11-01T10:33:00.000+08:00

I'm in school doing PW again. My groupmate is crazy. Totally insane. Driving me nuts. I'm so sick of my groundbreaker.

There once was a guy from Munich
He turned out to be quite unique
Carl Orff was his name
He was dumb all the same
Cos he made doing PW too bleak.

Just can't stop doing PW

2007-10-10T02:43:00.000+08:00

Still at it. Check out the time now. woohoo!! more ranting to come...

we love pw
yes we do
we love pw
how bout you?

More fun and enjoyable PW

2007-10-09T23:47:00.000+08:00

Ok. Doing PW again. and distracted and annoyed again. so maybe ill do another limerick. hope i can come up with one...

Tomorrow's the OP dry run
OMG can't stand it so fun!
I'm chionging last minute
but still not done with it
Tonight sure cannot finish one!

GG!!! Haha. I laugh at the impending doom.

Physics and random

2007-10-08T22:27:00.001+08:00

Finally know how to rmb the electromagnetic spectrum. Using those letter thingies. dunno what theyre called.

like for colours of rainbow
richard of york gave battle in vain
red orange yellow green blue indigo violet

classification of organisms
kinky people call out for gay sex
kingdom phylum class order family genus species

electromagnetic spectrum (excluding gamma rays)
Xtra underwear very important, must remember
X-ray ultraviolet visible light infrared microwaves radio waves

See. It works.

PW rocks

2007-10-08T21:24:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged since forever. AGAIN. It's such a pity i return with such a crowd pleaser. PW.
Yeah i decided to do this cos i was preparing for oral presentation and got so bored. What's it called again? a limerick, i think. anyway.

Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental but totally intended, and may not be necessarily true.

There once was a group from Spore
who found PW a bore
they went to their teacher
but never could reach her
and so did PW no more

I know why i dont blog much

2007-09-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

Too little time. And if im free, i'd rather go play some com game.

Anyway, people have been telling me that im very emo on my blog (at least for the earlier posts). i actually have more serious stuff to write about since june but cant be bothered to write with CTs and promos and all. Hopefully after promos i would take some time off my busy slacking schedule to write stuff that should be written.

Good luck to all for promos, prelims, 'O's, 'N's and 'A's!

Floorball!!

2007-06-14T23:39:00.001+08:00

DAMNDAMNDAMN. got soem stupid headache. and i just submitted my post and it turned out blank. wtf?!?

kk.
Summary of the summary:

1. HEADACHE. SHOULD. DIE.
2. SMU friendly. We won 5-4
3. Scored 1 goal, assist by jon muk.
4. SMU ppl lousier in terms of stick skills but were damn fit and strong.
5. Haven't had a really close friend for almost 2 years now. Kinda my fault. Maybe thats why im so stone.
6. HEADACHE. REALLY. SHOULD. LET. ME. THINK.

damn it. cant think now.
just spamming rubbish. bye

Floorball!!

2007-06-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

A RAGTIME MAN

2007-06-12T14:55:00.000+08:00

Yes. ANAGRAM TIME. I can't believe im doing this. I'm probably gonna stop blogging once school begins. School sucks. Some people's names are just impossible to rearrange. It's best to be of a good length, at least 6 letters, and should have an almost equal distribution of vowels and consonants, then lots of intersting things can be found. I've tried to put those that make most sense. But sometimes its just not possible. Btw the words dont mean anything. Like no offense or anything... and I sincerely hope i've spelled your names correctly.

For the interest of the choir.

Adam: (nothing much here. too few letters)
A dam. A mad?

Andrew:
Warden
Warned
We darn
War den
Dew ran. Wed ran.
New rad

Ashley:
She lay
He slay
Yes lah
Ale shy

Angelina (Ah! long name):
Angel in a... I, an angle/angel
Gain lean. Lane gain.
Nag in ale
Nag a line

Benedict (couldnt think of much. cos of the b,c and d):
Bent dice/iced
Bend cite

Christine (too many 'i's and too few versatile vowels):
This nicer. Nicer hits/shit
Niche stir

Crystal (well, what do you expect with 1 vowel):
Cry salt
Sly cart

Daphne (h was a problem):
Pad hen
Had pen

Denise:
I'd seen
Is need
In seed
See din

Desmond:
Odds men
Do mends

Dorothy:
Thy door
Dry hoot
Hot dory

Gabriel:
A gerbil
I garble
Bile rag
Brag, lie
Real big
Rib gale
Lire bag
Be a girl

Geraldine (ah! super long!):
Dine large.
I end glare.
Lined rage. Gear lined.
Redealing
Releading
Gin dealer. Gin leader.
Ad reeling
Align deer/reed
Line raged
Nil geared
Lair degen
Need a girl

Ian (Hm..its too short. They don't both make sense):
I an
In a

Louisa (Vowel spammed.):
I, a soul

(Satan) Lucas (we all know this very well by now.):
(Santa) Claus

Luke (Sorry. couldnt think of anything. There's nothing for venus either.)

Michael:
Mice lah
Lice ham
I clam he
I'm leach
Am Chile (country?)

Nicole:
No lice. On lice.
Lone IC (abbreviation. cheating)

Patrick:
Art (rat, tar) pick
Irk pact
Rack pit (tip)
Park tic
Crap (carp) kit
Rap (par) tick
Prick at
Pi track

Rebecca (double c and double e):
Ab recce
CCA beer (cheating here again)

Ryan (Surprisingly theres one, almost missed it):
Yarn

Samantha (Long, but a alone is kinda hard):
An asthma. An a-maths.
Than as am
As hat man. A hats man.
A ham tans. Santa ham. Satan ham.

Stacie:
It aces
Tic sea
At ices
Ice sat
Sit/its ace

Well I am really bo liao... Should just have used some anagram program on the net... but its more fun to do it yourself. Enjoy.

Song

2007-06-12T01:22:00.000+08:00

Yeah. Gonna write a song. Only written the lyrics though. Got inspiration from walking along east coast. And it was written in a hurry, so dont laugh.

Walking down the beach
on a perfect Saturday evening
not a cloud in the sky
a breeze is gently blowing
But there's something that's not right
someone who is missing
for this place just isn't beautiful
without you

Feeling the wind on my face
Smelling the salty sea breeze
All my senses are set ablaze
but my heart is dry within
There is something that's not right
someone who is missing
for this place just isn't beautiful
without you

Longing to share my joys
Longing to share this peace
What I long to share the most
is my love with someone near
So the something that's not right
that someone who is missing
the one to make this place beautiful
is you

Random stuff

2007-06-12T00:26:00.000+08:00

Dont like stupid mio plan. I dont get caller id, which totally sucks. So i dont know whos called or whos calling. So i usually have 1 word to identify the caller. Hi, Hey, Hello. Great. My puny brain can't process voice-recognition fast enough so please forgive me if i sound lost for a few seconds, try to stall conversation so that i can find out who's calling, or ask you straight out who you are.

Had class outing today, pity so few ppl came. Didn't go for training though. Wasn't supposed to participate in physical activity. Ended up walking a lot and digging a lot. Long story.
To cut it short:
Bus. MRT. Bus. Meet. Friends. Walk. Bloody. Far. East. Coast. Beach. Sand. Bury. Hole. Moat. Hole. Mountain. Chase. Run. Sea. Pictures. Hot. Sun. Shower. Change. Wind. Walk. Dinner. Talk. Long. Bus.

There you go. As dry as toast in a desert.

I'm an idiot. Sorry for being an idiot.

Anagrams. Gah. Lazy... soon.

Floorball camp

2007-06-09T08:24:00.000+08:00

Camp was super tiring... it was like just non-stop training. We lived to eat, sleep, and train. Oh. I also watched Coach Carter for the first time (I was sick in sec 3/4). It's quite inspirational..but ive forgotten quite a bit of it already... That's cos my memory sucks la.

I woke that morning with a headache and body aches then went for camp. Felt rather breathless during training. My stamina went down and i was so slow during warm ups. But the most annoying thing was the headache, it was on and off, and when it was on it was hard to think.

So i developed a cough, with some phlegm. And then had the second day of training camp. We played a friendly against Moosemen, the top team in the league, and i scored! I was lucky to be up against their weaker keeper. Jeremy did one of his crazy runs and i just ran to the centre. His pass came, which was slightly behind me, so i caught it and dragged it in. The shot was pathetic and slow, but the keeper had already dived to the side and the ball just went straight into the centre. Damn tyco.

The second goal was similar. This Shi Hao was running up with a defender on him. There also was a defender on me. I outran the defender and Shi Hao dropped back a little to make a straight pass right on to me right in front of the goal. It was a point blank shot. I thought the keeper could have saved it if he had dived correctly. My eyes were too easy to read.

The final goal was after the whistle blew. So i dont think its counted. Initially, when i heard that time was up, i stopped playing and started to walk. Then i heard some people say last goal. Philip (not sure how to spell), the imba angmoh who scores from between his own legs and whom jon muk says brought floorball to Singapore, brushed past me towards our goal. I was temporarily stunned, fortunately the pass failed to connect and it was a counterattack for us. I can't remember how it went but i think Harold and Raj were passing around and as usual i went to the centre, by then i had noticed that their keeper had already stopped playing, leaving an open goal, but the defenders were still playing. Harold made a pass to me, right between the two defenders and i just hit it into the open goal.

As you can see, all my goals were quite lucky team goals so stop complimenting me or i'll get a big head.

Anyway back to the sickly things. After camp i was coughing and tired and aching and cold (in the bus). So i went home to sleep. When i woke up the next day, i felt feverish and i coughed up a blob of thick gooey yellow phlegm. So i went to see the doctor in the afternoon. I told him that i had a mild fever, but he apparently didnt think so. wtf... He said that anything below 37.5 for a ear thermometer is not considered a fever. whatever... when i got back my temperature skyrocketed to a high of 38.2. But he gave me antibiotics and the usual stuff for cough. That was yesterday. Gah. Barely did anything yesterday. Once i got back from the doctor i was so tired and i just could do nothing but eat and sleep and watch tv. I took a nap and took some panadol, which helped a lot. I went to practice piano from 10+ to 12. I'm a night person. I only wish that the piano wasnt so loud. I keep disturbing ppl at night if i practice late, and the damper thing makes the piano feel different and sound so muffled you cant hear the individual notes clearly if they are played very quickly. I was actually perspiring, which felt great. When i took my temperature before i went to bed it was back to 37.2.

Today i'm feeling better. Less aching and headaching... fever's gone down. But cough and phlegm still there. Zzz... I'll come back later with some anagrams.

From pink to black 2

2007-06-03T23:29:00.001+08:00

I've changed. Just read my old posts (and removed some of the more incriminating ones, snatches of my life i want to forget, not much change really) and ive realised how different i am now from my sec 3 self.

I've...matured... i think.
I've become less frivolous and more boring in my posts.
My writing level seems to have degenerated in terms of humorous content.
I've become less splatter-my-words-and-emotions-all-over-my-blog. (especially anger)
I've stopped suanning Aaron Tan so much. I was like suanning him every other post.
I've become less ego, i hope, in terms of self praise.
My life has changed so much since then. Kinda miss then, yet i cherish today for many things.
I think i've become a deeper and more contemplative person.
In a way, I've lost some of myself, so my old self is gone, but a new yet familiar me is developing.
Essentially, I'm glad im still me, some things are still the same.

Ouch. Thinking about these things makes me feel weird, and pain.

Phew. Have been blogging so much today. I think someone who reads all my recent posts as well as my previous posts will see the little changes in my life from my writing. Btw, my blog used to have a pink background (check out why in PINK!!!, an article from my past), but now its black (as you can see).

Signing off. (at last) for today.

NAPFA 2007

2007-06-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

I just read my old NAPFA post and realised how little ive improved. Sec 3 was when i was at the peak of my physical performance (compared to the rest). Probably cos i played so much soccer.

Sit ups:
2005 - 51 and stopped with 10 seconds left
2007 - By 50 i was feeling tired.

Sit and reach:
2005 - 37cm (C)
2007 - 43 cm (C) Not much improvement. (didnt cheat. unlike in sec 4, when i got A)

Standing broad jump:
2005 - 232cm
2007 - 236cm Lousy improvement. Did over 240cm constantly in sec 4. I think its due to bad technique this year.

Shuttle run:
2005 - 9.2s
2007 - 9.2s This sucks. How can i not improve?

IPU/Pull-ups
2005 - 37 (with improper IPUs) (could do 8-10 pull ups, 10 PB)
2007 - 9 pull ups. No improvement at all.... (only met PB a few times since sec 3, PB remains at 10)

2.4km run
2005 - 9:48
2006 - 9:53 (!!!)
2007 - 9:24 Not much improvement, only 4 secs less per round since 2005. There's room for improvement. Aiming for sub 9.

Sigh. No time for intense physical activity like soccer anymore. Floorball has a different kind of intensity. My fitness is not dropping, but it is improving at a decreasing rate. (reminds me of differentiation) HATE SCHOOL. ha.

Anagram craze

2007-06-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

Yes its back. Await the revival of the anagram craze. It'll be posted soon.

Crazy german guys

2007-06-03T22:26:00.000+08:00

Yes. Title says it all. Just remembered.

Was crossing the interchange platform at City hall when two German guys came up the escalator. A group of 3-4 Germans were already on the platform. They had a video cam, not sure if they were filming. And the moment they saw the other two they all gave a loud "HEY!" and then started singing. Freaky. My cousins and i were like right smack in between the two groups. We got out of the way and the two groups merged to form one bunch of rowdy germans. They put their arms around each other in a circle and sang REALLY LOUDLY. Almost the whole platform could here them, and we, being 3m away, took the sounds in full. I thought they would get arrested for disrupting the peace.

Not only that, they weren't content with just singing and getting stares, they went up to this poor Indian guy and started singing to him. One guy put his hands one the Indian guy's shoulders and the other Germans linked up in a chain behind them, like some limbo chain. Then they sang all the louder. The poor guy shrugged his shoulders helplessly, trying to shrug them off. By this time i was laughing quite conspiciously, while my cousins could only stare in shock, managing some giggles. We decided to move away in case they decided to target more passers-by.

The train came. And we got on. So did the Germans. We were in the adjecent cabin. Once again they did their singing, getting the looks from the commuters on the train, who were at first ignorant of their ways. The train started moving, and they STARTED JUMPING. The whole lot of them weren't that light. The whole cabin bounced and we could feel it, in the adjecent cabin. We hoped that the train wouldn't crash or anything.. it didn't.

We got off at the next stop (dhoby ghaut. our initial destination, not for safety reasons. haha.) The Germans were still singing merrily in the train. The people from dhoby ghaut who got into the same cabin with them were stunned to be presented with this bunch of crazy singing german guys. The doors closed and they could do nothing about it. haha. And the train left, leaving us, and another group of youth who had also just left, laughing and discussing the event.

I wonder who they were. Throughout the whole thing, they seemed quite unembarrassed by the fact that people all around were looking at them, and unembarrassed to sing in a crowded MRT station in singapore. My cousin got a video of them singing, but they soon stopped, maybe they noticed. Oh, by the way, i only assumed they were Germans cos one of them had a small German flag displayed on his bag.

The germans seemed quite sane, they didnt even seem drunk, yet they were singing like mad. Why, one wonders? Was it because they were just high? Was it because they wanted to bring some cheer to the dull, dreary, and ordered lives of Singaporeans? Was it because they just wanted a laugh at all these rigid minded Singaporeans?

Something worth mentioning would be people's reaction to these guys. Come on, a bunch of German guys singing in on the platform and people give such a mediocre reactionary expression? The germans have wasted their effort. Quite a number of people were openly staring at them with an unreadable expression on their faces, probably shock and surprise. Most were acting like the typical Singaporeans, ignoring the action and being dao, although they obviously had noticed the germans. Some had expressions of displeasure at them disrupting the peace. The Indian guy naturally was rather disturbed. But what struck me was that very few, if any, besides myself and my cousins, showed any form of humorous reaction. I laughed, quite audibly, i think, while my cousins managed some smiles and sniggers. I saw a few pleasantly surprised and amused faces, with smiles on their faces, but these were few.

SINGAPOREANS. Why are we so serious? When something so out of the ordinary like this happens, why do we react in such an ordinary and mundane way?

Be happy,
Laugh,
Cheer,
Break free of monotony,
Embrace diversity and freedom of expression,
and so i leave you with a calling, to
SING WITH THE GERMANS.

At Odds. with Myselves.

2007-06-03T21:02:00.000+08:00

Yes, it's that time again where i talk to myself, but this time its gonna be specialler, cos im gonna talk among myselves. yeah...

Sian, I'm bored. Me too. Noobs, u guys suck lor. Without me ah, you all bored to death liao... Shut up la, im dying of boredom listening to your self praise. Agreed, you are so obnoxious. Obnoxious?!? Today who still say? So cheem lor. Singlish so easy to say why must onosious? Ooh!! I love Singlish, yes, ironic coming from me but i just love it! Yah me too, I think the government shouldn't discourage Singlish lor, its like part of our national identity. Eh, you two seriously si beh bo liao leh. Gahmen what gahmen, like Singlish just say lor, don care what gahmen say. Excuse me, can you please not behave so crudely, I'm appalled. Yes, being stop being such an ass, its so annoying to have you as me lor, gross. *Sigh* If only, we could leave this ill-mannered fellow and engage in pleasant conversation elsewhere. But alas, wherever we may go, he inevitably follows. Yeah, whatever man.. Hey, can we like not fight, and work together, cos we have to deal with this problem before we kena self-destruct? How u stand dis idiot, goodie-dunno-how-many-shoes. While this...annoyance, keeps discrediting me before i can present my case in a logical manner? Okay, okay, guys..enough. I'm already confused enough by other things in life, we don't have time to deal with each others' tempers, I'm sure u know what i mean. Yes indeed, that is quite true, life certainly is confounding. Yah lah, life damn suck.

Okay. That was tiring. Ouch. Life is so confusing, if only certain things were clear. If only i could read minds.

From pink to black

2007-06-03T13:22:00.000+08:00

Yes. I'm actually writing. It's been over a year and so much has happened, since sec 4, which hasn't been put to words. I've changed a little. And i really miss secondary school life...strange. Most of my previous blog posts were about complaining about school and i suppose future blog posts will still be complaining about school, except that i would say that i shouldn't have complained about sec school. Okay, im starting to not make sense to myself now. Can someone tell me how to upload files to this blog, if its possible?

RJC. Such a strange new place, many familiar faces but even more new faces. Argh. This makes me miss my secondary school friends even more... Hate reminiscencing. Did i spell that right... I don't like RJ as much as i like RI. It's really different. You can't do stuff the way do did it in RI. Interacting with people there is just different, less natural and further from the heart. There's more freedom, yes, but conditions force you to restrict yourself. Girls are just WEIRD (in a different sense from the guys). RJ feels so.. artificial. Like, everyone seems all nice and friendly, sometimes so friendly its freaky. I hope people make friends because they really want to enjoy friendship instead of wanting future connections. I've kinda shunned people who want to pull me out of my shell so to speak... They should just let me make the choice to come out rather than to force me out, cos that will only make me more reluctant.

Gah. Too serious stuff. I'll talk to myself again in future blogposts. Gtg...

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T12:27:00.000+08:00

Blogs all over the world will have similar posts wishing everyone a happy new year.

So i wont.

Come to think of it, such wishes never come true. Like...merry christmas, happy birthday, happy chinese new year and other such well wishes. On how many such occasions do u actually enjoy yourself? Am i being pessimistic? Yes.

But...sigh.... A new year usually means another year of school. Another year of struggle. Another year of stress.

Christmas causes you to spend money, to stress over little things. To rush to buy presents, to organize parties. Too much emphasis is placed on presents. Christmas has been commercialised. Seems to me that it will be a long time before the world can actually celebrate a MERRY christmas. Christmas is a time of giving, yet millions of people are still living in poverty at this time. A HAPPY new year changes nothing to them. It just means that it is another day they have to struggle to live.

Happy birthday. With great power, comes great responsibilty. In this case, u just get the responsibility. No power for you. You're now one year older, OLDER. Yes, birthdays marks the happy day you were born, perhaps that is the only birthday that is truly HAPPY in one's life.

I don't know why im being so stupid. So. I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. A truly happy year. The only one who can make that come true is you. I guess i'd better start making my new year a happy one by stop being pessimistic.

im talking nonsense. Ignore me.

oh. i would like to thank adam for inspiring me to continue blogging. apparently ive started on a rather pessimistic tone.(just a little little little pessimistic) But i'm sure i'll improve with time (a positive outlook, its already starting to look optimistic huh?)

i didnt count down yesterday. fell asleep at about 11:30. Must be the jet lag. Everyone else in the family slept earlier than me.

I havent done my commonwealth essay. actually its about half done. I have no idea how to meet the word minimum.

Argh. I want DOTA. and something else too.

Maybe i should make a new year resolutions list:

I will try to
1. be a good friend to as many people as possible.
2. talk more often. and more openly.
3. be a nicer person.
4. have the courage to tell people how much they mean to me.
5. play mass parts properly and master the electone.
6. not slack too much during scout activities.
7. cut down on computer games.
8. ignore my parents.
9. get a respectable haircut.
10. stop being pessimistic.

"No quotes from me today" -Me. Right now.

he who plays the oboe is an obeist.

2005-11-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

yups. desmond's nice word. its pronounced (o-beast).

im tired. slept at 1.30 am last night...this morning... whatever.

went bowling today. yay. achieved high score...yeah..it may be nothing but im still proud of it. 169! yay. at least its above 160.

ok. im confused now. I dunno why. Yes. i dunno why. Thats why im confused. Confusion.

Ok i cant blog anymore. cant think. Bye.

BORED

2005-10-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

I'm bored. I'M BORED!

and confused.....

and bored....

and tired....

how depressing.....

Haha.. okay. But i really am bored. U can tell huh?

zzz...tired. played soccer today. from....12:50 to 2. Hot. Sweaty. But its always worth it.

Then i went for lunch with Yijing, Joshua, Shang Hui, Kern and Ian. Any more?... I dunno... haha. Okay.... now what. Oh yes. Joshua and I went looking for Mr. Tan's present. It was pretty dull, honestly...doing nothing but walking around looking for things Mr. Tan might like....it was really hard finding a suitable present. In J8 they only sold things like clothes, shoes, bags, and girl stuff...., books, CDs, movies. We didnt think that they'd be suitable for Mr. Tan.

Both Joshua and I were not taught by Mr. Tan so we didnt know what he really liked.... Eventually, we bought a belt and a paint marker. We're gonna sign round it. Everyone. So he'll remember us. Joshua suggested cosmetics though. And i turned him down. zzz.. finally the stuff were bought.

Joshua and I took the bus back together and we checked out bus 52, the new service, at the interchange. Cool. Now i can take either 410 white plate, 410 green plate, or 52 home. Takes almost the same time.

Okay. Got home. Dont really know what i did. I think i played CS. I think. hm...I havent taken a nap...so tired. At least the QM sessions tomorrow has been postponed. Now there's only the stupid harmoc practice tmr. we'd probably be going out after that.

Once again, Aaron Tan is being an idiot. He is intending to skip harmoc practice. Sigh. No matter how stupid it is, you still shouldnt skip it. hm....U can only skip it for soccer. Like me. I skipped harmoc prac today. To play soccer from 1 to 2. But, hey...it got postponed to tmr anyway cos no one brought their harmocs.

Whew. Im exhausted. Girls are tiring. Most talk too much. haha. Dont take offense. (addressed to any girl who happens to read this) k tired. Bye. I think im still bored.

My Blog

2005-10-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

x) My Blog. Yes. Mine.

I think the layout and design of my blog sucks. But i dont really care. Hm...I really don't know what to say anymore. People talk about stuff that happen to them. But i feel like writing what i feel for the day.

Well...right now...I'm happy. :D

Yes. I'm happy. I bet Aaron Tan is pissed right now. Lol. Sorry. Don't get sad when you read this post okay? Im gonna lemon u a bit. Suan u.

Muahahahahaha. yes. I'm evil. It's fun. I learnt it from someone special. A secret evil master who hides in the depths of evil. Haha. Yes. I learnt it from that evil person.

Yay! Aaron Tan lost. 3 games of weiqi in a row. Muahaha. He resigned the first two after crushing losses in the early game. Actually, he resigned for the third game too. But before we played the third game, i was getting irritated that he kept resigning so quickly. So he agreed not to resign. Sigh. As fangjin says, must play with honour. Aaron, u must be a man of your words. Haha. OK. Sorry. Im so evil. Muahahahahaha. Yup. he eventually resigned the third game too. But we managed to play till i got half the board before he let him resign. Sigh. I bet he's pissed now.

Argh now im irritated by this itch. Its a weird itch...on my arms and leg. I dunno why. Hm... its weird. Maybe its sunburn.

Haha. I musnt digress from suanning Aaron Tan. Sorry. :P Being evil is fun. Okay. Honestly, im really lousier than Aaron tan at weiqi. Its just that i play using psychological warfare. Jeremy has developed an immunity due to experience and long-term exposure to my psychological attacks during the game. haha. Ben, Roger and Wentao are all too pro to psycho. So whos left? A. Tan. Sorry. Its you left. Yup. And u are the one with a weakness to my psycho warfare.

Lol. The second time i played weiqi was against A. Tan. He obviously gave my a few seeds advantage. I cant remeber though. Haha. So we were playing. I was talking cock as usual (trying to distract the opponent. Hey it works. Its called magicians patter), and suanning sometimes (not as much as this blog), being lame (an integral part of playing chess), using reverse psychology, and playing the mental chess game with my opponent (a. tan keeps losing this).

Haha. Okay. So i actually won that match. With the advantage given to me, i played against a more experienced player and won! Muahahaha. Its like Chinese Chess. Aaron tan keeps losing to me cos of my tricks. I keep distracting and talking nonsense. Haha. U've gotta learn to guard against me. Yeah. So he was like..dead at the end of the weiqi game. He wrote FEI with the seeds and collapsed on the board. He asked woonhian to take pics of it. Lol. Jared was there too. And Chenzr. We were all laughing at his weird behavior. He seemed to enjoy the attention. haha. Isnt it fun to be fei?

Okay...i remind the reader once again the Aaron tan is a better and more experienced weiqi player than me. Thats not much though...

Ok..this is getting draggy. Being evil is fun, but tiring. Im drained. I shall charge up for another day. I look forward to losing tommorow to aaron tan. He's determined to beat me. One reminder, it doesnt matter if u lose, a. tan, its just a game. Whenever i lose some seeds i just go..oh shit... then keep smiling and laughing. So relax. Dont have to remove specs and look at the board like that. Qutie scary leh. But after the game ill think about it and laugh. haha. Im crazy now. Maybe i should continue. haha. Im still laughing about it now. haha. HAHAHAHA. :P

No more verbal torture from me.. for now... tomorrow when we play...

we play.

Quote! Again! Yay.
(during a game of bridge, i was totally lost. I had no idea who my partner was)
"Shit, should i beat you or not?" -Me
"Up to you" -Ling (gives that meaningful look)
"Argh. Fine. Give u" -Me
*Later in the game*
"Should i beat u or not?" -Me
"If you wanna trust me, then trust me, dont kill some and let some" -Ling
"You shouldnt trust him" -Fangjin
"Why?" -Me
"Look at him...
the squinty eyes....

the sneaky smile...

and the oily hair....." -Fangjin

lol. Fangjin can really be amusing sometimes.

its been a long time huh?

2005-10-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

Yup. it has.

Wow. Haven't updated in a million years. Even the exams are over now. haha. the last time i blogged was after the midyear exams. hm...Now i seem to have nothing to do and everything to do at the same time.

I wanna compose stuff. I wanna go out and do stuff with friends. I wanna play rev. I wanna play CS. I wanna go LAN. I wanna blog. I wanna sleep. I can't do all that in less than 2 months....

Hm... a girl's world seems so horribly confusing. I wonder what its like being a girl. To me, its seems easy to live life in school. I dunno, maybe its me, maybe i just dont care, maybe ive got the attention i want (am i being ego? No. Im just easily satisfied :P ). But, why is there so much backstabbing. Why backstab friends? Even if they did insult you, or betray you, if you're a true friend you'd not hurt her back... Hm... Being all philosophical. I dunno if this blog entry sux so far...havent blogged in a long time. I can't really believe i wrote all my previous entries...

Oh yes. I would like to commend ashley and jared for their fanfic.

Jared. U never cease to shock me. Its fun huh? Argh. Short, cute, innocent-looking little boy (haha). To think you could write such sick things. To think that you even have the ability to write such....vivid...and descriptive images of... those things.....not to mention that u actually dare to write it.. Keep up the good work. haha. But i think your earlier entries were better. Reduce the sex. Please. Gabby can't take it anymore.

Ashley. Another innocent looking one. So mild, so quiet. Sigh....Writers... I'd never understand them... Lots of violence in your fanfic. Its kinda sad... that u just..die. Its so abrupt. I think yong feng made a good choice. But i think we should like just starve to death as a class and not go killing ourselves or other people. maybe we can just enter restricted areas together and get blown up. Or try to escape at once. Die together. By the way, i wonder if we can take the weapons from the people we kill. Oh..and ashley. Let me tell you about the things in the scout den.

We've got:
Hatchets (or axes...whatever)
Saws (lots of them)
Hammers
Ropes (u dont wanna know)
A fish tank (haha i dunno why im telling you this)
Carrom boards (the den wouldn't be complete without them)
Balls (basketballs, soccer balls, rugby balls, most of them deflated)
Oh. We've got a badminton net i think. All the stuff's like...gathering dust.

So if you're planning to use the scouts den in your fanfic...there u go. Btw, in theory, I'm the only one in 3T who is supposed to have the key to the den. But. I lost it. haha. Shhh

Ok. I'm gonna be really random here. I think blogging is like talking to myself. Its like. Oh hi gabriel! This is so interesting huh? Talking to me? Talking to you? Whats the diff? Haha. yeah I know. You're funny. I'm funny. Hi, self! its like. Cool. Im there and im here. Right? right. Haha. You're always right. Obviously. I'm always right. haha. That makes you right too? Right? Right. Right right.... Haha. I'm just talking to you here...whats wrong? Talking to myself is stupid? No its not. how could u say that?! Fine. I dao you. Then i dao me? Hm... This is weird. yeah. Haha u cant dao me.! So i can like... now insult you and u cant do anything about it. :P Are you me or am i you? Lol. How philosophical. Im being philosophical again. Or was that you? Are you being philosophical? Yeah, I guess I am. You are? I is? Me am? Whatever la. We ARE. Perhaps that better. Hey, dude. Yeah... u. I think im like..schizophrenic. How do u spell that? I dunno. I spell it the same way you do. haha. By the way, i think im schizophrenic too. You are? I knew it! U spell it the same way i do too! cool. Cool. Haha you idiot. I cant do anything to me cos im you. Noob. Lousy. Dumb. hey... im not dumb you idiot. YEah. You're an idiot. NO! i said youre the idiot. But if im you and you're me then if im an idiot then you're an idiot. Right lah.. That means that you're calling yourself dumb too. If i cant dao you, you cant dao me too! If u insult me and i cant do anything to you, then i can insult u too and u cant do anything about it cos im you. Haha. Stupid. =( im hurt. sorry. i wont do that anymore. You're closest to me. Cos you're me. haha. Hey. Be more sensitive to my feelings leh. Ok. Sorry. Idiot. haha. Im an idiot. haha. HEY. I said be more sensitive. Okokok... To save you from further agony i shall quickly end this post.

Phew.. That was really long. A long conversation with myself! That was quite fun. haha. Wow. Im tired. Talking to yourself certainly drains you. I think blogs are nice cos i can just write ANYTHING i want. And nobody, nope, not even you(Hey, u being evil to me again), can do anything about it. (we'll see about that). Ouch. Okay.. That's enough. (muahahahaha...feel my wrath. feel your wrath..whatever) Ouch. Ok!!! Fine. you're supposed to be my fake self. Youre not supposed to attack me! Argh!!

And gabriel threw a throwing star at himself and died.

Now for a quote! Again! Long time no quote.
"Quek!" -Aaron Tan
"What!?!" -Me
"Why should i go for scouts!?!!" -A. Tan
"Cos you can't shout half as loud as fangjin!!!!!" -Me
"ARE YOU SURE?!!?!?!? DON'T TRY TO..." -A. Tan
"YOU THINK YOU CAN SHOUT AS LOUD AS ME?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?" -Fangjin
Haha. We were being spastic. Aaron tan got owned. So he went for scouts. haha. He hok NOOB gneh lah..

Guess what time it is?

2005-06-04T02:36:00.000+08:00

Cool. its almost 3 am...never been awake so late before... This is fun. No one online. COol. CS is too noisy so im blogging now.

Havent updated in a long time. I know... too many people reading....Gah. I'm feeling high again!!!Yes!!! havent felt this way in a long time....Thanks to the exams and stupid depressing scouts stuff. CCA is stupid. To some extent.... Scouts sux...too busy...

I WANNA GO OUT. WOW. First time i said that. Yikes im so bored at home!!! I don't feel like doing RE yet... Is there holiday homework? anyone who's reading pls comment and tell me cos i dont think there's any...I didn't appear for the whole of the last week, in case u didn't notice :( sobsob.... being sick sux..but im pretty much ok. I slacked off camp...:( cos of my sickness again... sighz.. Kestrel died. Ah! Maybe i'll talk about that.

Camp. Annual Camp.

In Kestrel, we have a FEI. FEI!!!!!!!!!

SHU WEN IS THE CHAMPION FEI. Mr. Sun lixing aka Chairman Mao calls him megazoid, or mega-fei. He keeps saying that this mega-fei influenced the other less fei kestrel sec1s.

The next in line is SHANG HAI. A SEMI-FEI, according to Chairman. He is in AEP and spent annual camp waiting for paint to dry. (our banners) I REALLY BELIEVE HIM, MAN...btw, shu wen spent most of the camp waiting for paint to dry too....hrms......he's not in AEP, neither is he supposed to help paint banners. I wonder what hes doing. What a fei.

And the best Kestrel Sec 1 is Chee Yeow, not very good but the best compared to the other fei. Chairman still considers him to be a SEMI-FEI. I disagree...he just needs to be away from the other 2 sec 1s.

Now for our sec 2s. We initally had 3, but now we're left with 1. WONDERFUL. KESTREL ROX. Zul and Yik Sin left....sighz...Zul was the best sec 2, who got influenced by another attitude problem yik sin. Now we're left with Mr. Zhao Wei Jie, cos the rest Zhaoed...he's got a BIT of attitude problem. Sometimes slacks too.

Now, Chairman himself. Last year he was extremely busy in China, and seldom came for activities due to his busy schedule. Whenever he came, he would...sit around and... supervise. But amazingly, i think chairman has managed to manage his time better or sth...he now comes down for activites and i finally know of sun lixing as a kestrelite.

As for the other sec3s other than myself, we have Li Yip Hei (APL) and Leonard Leng himself (PL). They are the Assistant patrol leader and patrol leader. Yip Hei sometimes slacks but is ZAI. LELE is the best. THe best. SErious. I'm not being sarcastic or anything. The kestrel sec 3s rock. Note: Chairman is sec3 too and is the best cook in the scout unit.

Wow. Its 3am now. I guess i'd better turn in soon... :P soon...

"Hey, come and help us" -Kestrel Sec 3
"Cannot."-MEGA-FEI shuwen
"Why?"
"Cos im FEI" -Shu Wen

...

STRESSED...DESSERTS

2005-05-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

OK lah...not really. Only got Annual Camp from 28th to 2nd in June maybe even on the 27th too... Yeah.. and there's only camp preparations 4 times a week. And i only have to do my duty as the QM to do lots of REALLY EASY STUFF. And my patrol leader, leonard leng, only wants me to practise lots of DAMN EASY SOCCER skills for skill-o-rama which is a component of AC which will give my patrol points. And i also only have to find a song related to FRUITS (what kind of stupid theme is this?? the J1s are a bit funny) and SING it with 2 other ppl performing as well for talentime... Im sure. And there is only the batch project right after founder's day, on saturday where we only have to bring cadet scouts from HPPS to Pulau Ubin for a hike. And as QM, i only have to take stuff which is gonna be a problem.

Hm.. all this sarcasm is getting really boring eh? Ok. I'm gonna state everything thats left in black and white..actually i think it'll be in white and pink...wadeva lah...

RE: Compose a 10 minute ORCHESTRAL scherzo movement by next monday
Complete research proposal for english
Continue to totally ignore philo journals (hey..this requires a lot of effort ok?)

Oh...i've decided to scrap the anagrams stuff cos im too busy...cant be bothered...rather play CS right? so that i won't get pwnzed by all you pros out there. HAHA. Hey...i do get pwnzed ok? Aaron Tan, I'm not pro... you just ________ (Fill in the blanks) [2m]

Clue: how bout an anagram. Lol. c u k s (dont be stupid)

pls dont mind me if my blog's messy. i just cant be bothered to do anything about it when i post cos i dont really care.

AND. Someone's birthday has just passed!!! On the 18th of May, someone has just gotten one year older! Happy Birthday. (Blows that really funky wonking thingy)

I not gonna talk about the CTs. They're over! But... CTs will forever be fighting against the Ts. Good luck. Oh no! im running out of things to write. Oh well.....got AC preparation again tmr...lovely.

"Thaanks" -Me
"Thaanks" -Me, again
"Thaanks" -Me, once more
"I'm sure" -Me!
"Oh-kay" -Me.
"I really believe" -Sighz....

Our footdrill rocks. Get it? Our foot drill rocks. Or rather, our feet drill rocks.. cool eh. Field no rocks how to drill?? Poor uniform groups (such as 01 scouts), no wonder footdrill sucks. Ok la..im so lame. Im gonna play CS now. DeStress Distress...

Disclaimer: Review of my blog

2005-05-11T21:48:00.000+08:00

I have just come back to my blog for the first time in ... in ... a month and i've read through all the articles i have written before. I have realised how crazy i was when i wrote some of the really depressing articles and the really guai lan articles. I'm sorry (yes, once again, Jared) that I keep doing such horrible and weird stuff. I think i have decided to once again started updating my blog, now that the CTs (counter-terrorists...lol) are over.

I have just realised something...aren't I so ego. I have said that word "I" 14 times already since the start of my post. lol... lame...

Now for a (not so) formal disclaimer so that what i put in here will not be taken to offense by the people involved for I am just doing this for fun and the stuff in here may or may not be true:

This blog is meant to be an outlet for my feelings. The articles posted here are highly dependant on my mood that day. Do not take my words too seriously, for i'm full of teenage angst. I mean no harm to anyone and i do not mean to be disrespectful to anyone. Certain offensive stuff written here in my blog is just a representation of something in a humourous way. My purpose is to entertain and not to insult. Please do not misinterpret my intentions and feelings. Most of what is put here is all in the name of fun. If anyone objects to whatever i say about them in this blog, please tell me... and i will... consider... altering it. Lol. Hey, but seriously, if i guai lan you, please do not be insulted, for it is a tradition of 01 scouts to bond in this manner (Aaron Tan, you should know this very well).

Okay. Whew...thats done. Im serious about that okay... Btw, Mr. Chan, ex-CCA head or whatever, the little speech you made after the public caning today has made an impact on me. Good for you, sir! You have done well, and have achieved your purpose.

Now for more light-hearted stuff...okay... time for REALLY light-hearted stuff.

A-Z Career guidance! Cool! I like. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z... how long did i take to write...cough..fine, type... that? I dunno. I didnt time...lol
The guy who took us before recess was really good, really effective, and really FUNNNY. Hey this is great praise coming from a master of humour here kay? Haha. I'm so ego on my blog. Oh no... sneaks...am i ego in real life. Muahahaha!!!! EGO! eg. O... lol... Anyway...HE ROCKS lah... I'm a CONSIDERATE personality. Nice. Pity 69% of the population's like that...Sighz...But..no matter... i know im special... :D Who's the chow ah beng? Lol...

Hmmzzz... RACHEL. STOP READING MY BLOG. STOP IT... YOU HEAR ME? AS YOUR OLDER BROTHER, I AM YOUR SENIOR AND BETTER (i think...at some things...you pwnz me at inclined pull-ups and gym and ...etc...blah blah), ANYWAY!!! CONCENTRATE HERE...YOU HEAR ME? STOP READING MY BLOG. IT'S NOT MEANT FOR YOU.

Okay. Is that better?

ok...
now what shall i talk about.... quite bored now...dunno what to say leh...
New com! Rather... the old one finally got fixed after like... 1 year??? Sighz... so no CS...no heroes III, no age of empires....sigh...ony internet games like REV!! Haha... It least now im installing everything again...muahahahaha....NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!!

Good luck to all those frm other schools who are still going through the midyear CTs or whatever they are called in your school. Study HARD (don't kill yourself). And do WELL (bring a bucket too, to collect the water). Get good GRADES (Sec 3. grade) and good SCORES (GOAL!!!!). Don't sleep too LATE (we shall observe one minute of silence for all the late students of mugging). Have a good REST (a crotchet rest) before your PAPER (don't take too many kay? kill trees one leh). Right. I shall stop being LAME (Go to doctor) and start talking ABOUT (round and about the mulberry bush...eh...got no mulberries in Singapore) more SENSIBLE (the 5 senses) STUFF (stuffed toys!! plushies!). Get IT? (it.) Get it. (IT.)

Okay..what was that all about??? Woah..dizzy eh?... DUH... It was about exams lah... No0b.

Anagrams are fun.

Guess these:

A rag man (guess one word)

new door (guess two words, guess one word) [figure how that works out for yourself]

check-in (this is easy...don't be stupid)

coins (one word. Be creative)

proton (don't bash me up when i tell u the answer... one word)

heetvraw (Haha...nonsensical... one word)

LAN charge (lol. Lame stuff. One word)

Bonus question (rather open-ended, many possibilities):

Raffles Institution is my alma mater. Kestrel. (Guess a sentence. May be logical, may be nonsensical, may be just crap words. Best to be logical. I don't mind humour too. Btw, Kestrel is my PATROL.

Haha, in conclusion, i shall think up more anagrams which i will (hopefully) keep posting here on my blog...when i feel like it. The answers will come out in a week. Remind me then.

NAPFA

2005-04-23T19:59:00.000+08:00

I have intended to write this post for a long time, since the 5 stations were over, now i've finally decided to. cos im just a wee bit free and cos now the 2.4km run is over!

BTW,
Disclamer: Please do not take the stuff on my blog too seriously. There are certain bits of information which are simply meant to be funny and are not meant to be insulting to anyone.

Muahahaha... Jared. I can suan you here. REVENGE AT LAST. :P After you did 52 situps just to beat me by 1 situp... Pls dont take it to heart if im arrogant here cos im being happy.

Aaron Tan, you have found my blog. Gd for you. I'm gonna guai lan you even more now that i know that u can read it. Muahahaha. :P im feeling sadistically happy now.

5 stations:

Sit-ups
I had decided to get A for this. Duh. Sit-ups are the easiest to get A for. Just more than 42. Great. After doing 50 situps, i heard that teacher who was manning the sit-up station, and who had screwed his class for turning up late, leaving us to wait there...(mebbe he was like wasting our time lor, and he was talking about wasting our time to his class. How ironic.) say that there was 10 seconds left. I felt bored so i did one more sit-up. Next i supported Kah Hou as he did his sit-ups. Next to him, you evil cunning little Jared did 51 and asked me how many sit-ups i did. Upon saying 51, u promptly did one more, making your score 52! Fine! Beat me! By one...big deal. Haha. I wanna challenge you one day, and this time i won't slack.

Yikes..too long.

Our next station was standing broad jump
Standing broad jump
Yay! I'm only 14. So i got A! Yay. Whew, if i had been 15, jumping 232cm, wouldn't have been enough for an A. Lucky me. Sorry to all those strugging to pass, or struggling to get C. I'm sorry. Haha. I pwn. sorry.

After standing broad jump, when i was feeling moralised cos i had already got 2 As, came my DOWNFALL!!!!! SIT AND REACH.
How screwed up it was. I got a C!! a C
sad. Anyway...mr azar (is tt how u spell it?) jacked me b4 i did it. So i forgot to cheat (cough i mean try to improve my score), haha and i screwed up...only did 37cm. People say im flexible...seems like im not flexible enough to do sit and reach...

Next was inclinded pull ups. Sigh. I wish i could have done pull-ups instead of inclined. Cos strangely, I can get A for pull ups easily, cos i can do 8-10 (9 avg.) pull ups, while many of my friends were struggling to do 1 or 2, so they wish that they could do inclined, while i wished that i could do pull ups.. how weird. Surprisingly, i still got A for inclined pull-ups. I cheated, to tell you the truth. Fortunately, the PE teacher was noob and allowed it. :P I did 37 or sth...last yr i only did 24. lol. cheating can bring you so far. I SHOULDN'T CHEAT! Slaps self. Im stupid. I should only have cheated in sit and reach and not inclined pull ups. I mean...we shouldnt cheat at all.

Finally, the last station was shuttlerun
YAY! I was so proud of my shuttlerun. Bernard (sprinter in track & field) even commended me. Yay! I beat him! But, sprinting doesn't involve changing direction quickly.
My first run was an utter SCREW UP!! So i was afraid that i would get a D or something... I fell twice! During the first run to the first wooden block, i slipped and fell as i braked to get the block. I fell onto the ground and slid for like 0.8 seconds...(to all rev players, i got bashed. lol) Nonetheless, i got up and ran back the wooden block in my hand. As i put it down i skidded again and fell once more. This time, Yong Feng caught up with me and beat me.
Anyway, after that i was feeling utterly demoralised and went back for the other block. Yong Feng eventually beat me...though i almost reached him at the end. At least i didnt slip anymore, but it cost me time. Yikes. 10.9 seconds! shocking.
Before the second run, i asked Mr Kwan whether i could run barefoot. He said no. THANKS MR. KWAN. Never mind. I steeled my mind and decided to do a lot better than 10.9 seconds. This time as i ran toward the wooden block, i used my muscle power to slow down rather than the friction of my soles so that i would not fall, and sure enough, i didnt! I came back doing the same thing. All the way i didnt slip or fall. I thought that it was rather smooth. So as i dashed towards the finishing line, i was being optimistic. As my time was read out, i was overjoyed! 9.2 seconds. GREAT IMPROVEMENT. I rockk.

Haha. YAY!! So its 23/25 points so far. A Gold this year was inevitable. Sorry to all those whom i pwnzed this year. A lot of people. Muahahaha. Next time Jared, next year, you shall not beat me at situps.

Then came 2.4. I still pwnzed nonetheless. I got utterly trashed by norman and yijing. Gay trackers. And joshua too. he beat me by at least 15 seconds. Yikes. And yi jing almost beat me by a minute, norman beat me by more than 1:30. AND joshua woke up at 3am that day just to watch a soccer match. Sigh...I supposed trackers like him can afford to be tired...

Anyway, i did 2.4 in 9:48. I rock. Less than 1:40 per round. Last year's time was like 11:19...so crappy compared to this. woohoo!! I improved by 1:30 what the hell... pro. I wish i'd do it again next year, improving by 1:30 would be great. I wouldn't even beat the school record yet. The school record is crazy, 7:47. INSANE. IMPOSSIBLE.

In conclusion, i rock, i pwn, im pro. But not good enough for some really good sportmen out there. 28/30 points and a Gold for NAPHA is just average among those fit ones out there just like me. People who get 30/30 points are set records are those who are really pro. No matter how good one is, there will be another even better.

"It's only NAPFA what.." -Tracker

lots of stuff

2005-04-18T22:08:00.000+08:00

I cant help myself.

Why am i going mad?

Am i crazy? Why am i so stupid??

Aaron Tan is now looking for my blog. I hope he forgot. !#^%@^#$ him lah. He is an A$$H013!!!

That bloody mervyn chng also better keep outta my way or im gonna screw his ballz hard.

Bernard...LEE XUAN YONG. stop bullying me. Pity he cant hear me. BLoody shit...i already have enough problems...

Finally, Kah Hou. Gay SHAT! I you so much as look at me im gonna kick y0ur @$$. And if you dare to come near me ill $(R3w w-@+5 13f+ 0f yr 3ff1n6 6@115 . Touch me and your neck will be broken.

Lets see... who shall i start with? I wanna guai lan some ppl.

I shall start with the spastics. Yes. This group of ppl includes, Roger, Mark, Mervyn and Aaron Tan.

Now i shall talk about the legendary fight between the noble Roger and the skilled Aaron Tan. Both wielding the mythical weapons, the newspaper swords. People say that the pen is mighter than the sword. But why compare them when you can COMBINE THEM!!! The two gladiators engaged in a fight to the death using swords of newspaper, thus combining the power of the pen and the sword at the same time!! WOW.

With lightning quick strokes, they engaged in the deadly combat. One had to fall. Their swordplay was simply STUNNING. The class was totally engaged. We were thunderstruck at the skills of the warriors. We gaped in amazement. We looked on in wonder. We cheered loudly.

What was the best part was that the two spastics did not realise that we were laughing at them. They good-naturedly smiled back and continued their battle. Lovely. It was certainly amusing.

Mark behaves quite a bit like Aaron Tan, just that he isnt as convincing as him. They both have a lot of knowledge. YEs.. a lot of knowledge. They know how to speak with nothing in their heads. There's nothing right in their left brain and there's nothing left in their right brain. Quite sad isnt it. The ceaseless chatter on a subject they are n00b at can last as long as the rattle of gunfire in a battle.. (ooh the spastics would enjoy my imagery. they love hitler. This will explained further later on.)

Yups. Mark is an idiot who keeps changing my messages i write on the whiteboard. $^%#^$^#% him.

Roger. He accounts for most of the tissue waste in class. THaanks. The CEC council has rated our class horribly due to our lousy classroom standards. We CEC have to deal with stupid stuff like tissues. The dustbin is full of Roger's little minions. He uses tissues as rapidly as machine gun fire. (again lovely battle imagery. WOW.)

Mervyn. Shouts too much. As if everyone needs to hear him. He sounds as if everyone would WANT to hear him. Pity its the opposite. Its not like he can shout half as loud as Fang Jin. Generally a stupid guy. After all, he is spastic. We should pity him. He likes to rest his head on my shoulder, likes to come over to me or Yi Jing whenever he is feeling bored, likes to sit next to us, likes to engage in physical contact with me, and SAYS HE ISNT GAY. IM SURE. Sigh, i still pity him, since he is, after all, spastic. He owes me $13.

As for Aaron Tan, i shall not talk much about it. One who needs elaboration can refer to my previous post.

Next, i shall talk about the Nazis. The Nazis include, Aaron Tan, Mervyn and Mark.

Now now, dont say im biased against these people. I'm actually a kind and benevolent person. Its just that these people are really stupid and i think it would be better, for the sake of 3T, to remove them from existance. Sigh..i think that was too cruel. Maybe sending them for rehabilitation would be better.

"Heil Hitler!" What normal and sensible person would say it? These Nazis in class just cant get enough of him eh? As if Hitler was sexy. His moustache ROXXORZ. And Aaron Tan calls mervyn "Fuhrer" OR sth.. i dunno what it is... My knowledge on this subject is pathetic. For more info, you may refer to the Nazis for help. Pls note that it would be safer to send someone else as you might not be able to take the stress when talking to these deluded individuals.

These Nazis ACT as if they know a lot about the Nazis. But i suppose they do know quite a bit. Much more than me at least...sigh that isn't really saying much. After all, they ARE Nazis aren't they.

Now i shall talk about the gays in class. Kah Hou, and possibly Mervyn again...

I have already mentioned a bit about mervyn. Hes just spastic.

Now for the more difficult person, Kah Hou. He's gay. GAY. With a spastic look on his face. Like the 156 paedophile, he stares at people, like me and jared, and just keeps staring (WITHOUT BLINKING!! WTH), sometimes with that gay smile on his face. As jared said, he really has the makings of a 156 paedophile. One day, we'll probably find him in KFC staring at the all the RI boys walking past. Urgh! and when he TOUCHES you, You'd better stop him quick. Yup. Initally, at the start of the year, he used to gay aaron tan a lot. I didn't think he was really gay, i just thought he was acting gay or something (though i didnt know y some1 wud wanna act gay), and i didnt believe aaron tan. I was sOO WRONG. Once hed taken a liking towards me (yuck), all hell broke loose. He has also taken a fancy towards Jared. I think he's gonna stop gaying me cos...if he's realised that, if he bites me, i bite back. And don't suggest i kiss him. PLEASE! No one ever kisses another guy in a boys school. and I NEVER WANNA KISS KAHHOU!

So Jared, some advice. Strike back. And strike hard. Its not in my nature to hurt people. But he just crawls all over you. No choice, either go for the balls (i havent gone to that extent yet), or just whack him hard (i kicked his ass) , or bring him down (tripped him b4, pity he pulled me down too). And if he bugs you, just ask him for the $10 he owes me. Haha. He owes the class $10. still hasnt paid yet. Sigh, its tough being treasurer...

Finally, since i'm running out of people to guai lan. I shall just talk about one more guy, woon hian. He is generally a nice guy, but i still have the heart to guai lan him. I can't think of anyone else in class whom i can bear to guai lan. Woon hian's not that bad actually.

But regarding his goalkeeping skill. ...

You get the idea?

HE ROCKS!! Haha. I once scored with a damn slow ball. But he's the best we've got in 3T. He is the best due to his bravery. Im not being guai lan here. He is really damn brave. His courage is amazing. To look face to face with the attacker, who is gonna blast as hard as he can into the goal, and you have to block it, takes a lot of courage. Going for the ball and getting whacked takes even more courage, perhaps he is just wacked up. Mad. I could never be a goalkeeper. His reaction time is damn pro lah. He takes as long as to react as i do to shoot the carrom striker. HAha.. so slow.

BUt what is commendable is his courage. I admire his courage, perhaps madness. who Cares? Just blk the ball. Beware of your own though.

Sigh. I think i shall stop guai lanning for today.

I love you from the bottom of my heart. Is it true all the way up? Yes.

"The sun is bright, but I am brighter" -Shi Da (... lame ...)

Don't you feel so empty inside?

2005-04-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

Don't you?

If you've been waiting, you've been waiting too long.

Too long.

Sry.

Empty.

I've let you down, haven't i.

Yikes...I'm lying to Chin Yang right now. :(

Lying sux.

I wish i dont have to do it.

I HATE myself for letting people down.

Shouldn't I be more disciplined?

How can it take so long to do stuff?

I suck.

I'm just a stupid procastinator.

Great...maybe i should stop whining and go do my work.

The following quote is rather in bad taste, it doesn't mean what it seems to mean:

"this is also my first time" -Royce Lee

lesson learnt

2005-04-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Soo tired. So i shall keep this really short. Had campfire today...from 10am. till about now..11+pm. So tired. DEAD. Sorry for not being online today when im supposed to. Slipped outta my mind to mention it on friday.

Today, i have learnt a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY important thing. Never let aaron tan open his mouth or else one or even multiple of the following might happen:

1) You get blown down by the sheer force of the opening.
2) You get dizzy from looking into such a vast thing.
3) You get overawed at the grand size of it and faint (similar to 2)
4) You start worrying that you might find your head in it soon.
5) You cover your ears and get ready for the explosion.
6) You are too late to shield your ears from the explosive power of longitudinal sound waves and your eardrums blow up.
7) You get this sudden desire to run away, but are bound by duty to remain. (like today during campfire)
8) You'll never get this irritating drone of your eardrums all your life. (i still hear something. was it you?)
9) Your mind goes blank.
10) You see people within a radius of 10m start backing off.
11) You begin to pray to God for the first time in your life.
12) You fall to your knees and brace yourself.
13) You push him off.
14) You start doing the record breaking 100m sprint away.
15) You get ready to dodge the sound waves like Neo did with bullets.
16) You tape his mouth up. (I almost managed to do it as i was taping some ribbons with him. But i realised that this was impossible, due to the fact that the sheer amounts of tape needed to complete this task would suck my pockets dry.)
17) You look around for something to stuff the hole with.
18) You long to poke him in the eye or something.
19) You scream before anything else is done.
20) You send a message to your girlfriend/crush saying: "I love you."

"[I'm sorry, blog readers, this quote is too long to be put down in words]" -Aaron Tan

Just a little thing

2005-04-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

Hell no. It wasnt a little thing at all!!! I wont talk much here. Just a little mention.

Today i stayed back till really late, like 6+ after playing soccer and whipping ropes. I was in the gryphon's lair, with Royce, Tee Yong and Jun Jie (01 people). Royce was doing his stuff, Tee Yong was changing the den, and JJ was waiting for me so tt we cud take the 410 bus back together.

I felt extremely sweaty in my PE attire. I actually felt Waterlogged. So i decided to change out of it to sch u...besides royce is a prefect and i'd leave in PE if he wasnt. Anyway, as i was changing, with my shirt off, trying to dry my wet body with an even wetter shirt, Kah Hou suddenly appeared from the linkway and came to me. I was facing the opposite direction. He came up CLOSE to me. Eeeeks. Yucks. SHIT. Sick. Screw. CLOSE! His nose was like 5 cm from my topless self. Argh! I pushed him away and hastily put on my shirt.

Thats it for this entry. Hm... thinking of a quotable quote, worthy enough to be considered quotable. Ah! I know. *snigger*

"Sarawak!" -Anon. (or rather...-All Rafflesians)

Nothing in particular

2005-04-12T20:11:00.000+08:00

Oh no! Jared has found my blog...

Well...doesnt matter...its meant to be found anyway... :D

Today has been a interestingly boring day... lessons..classes...lim gee nee...sigh

I think im gay to a small extent. (There's one guy who'll be extremely happy about this, and someone else not too happy about it) Haha. I'm not gay like Kah Hou, just gay like myself. I love myself (how ego), i love my friends (perhaps not very straight), I love someone else, I love my family, I love GOD.

For example, Yi Jing. How can yi jing be so yi jingish. Perhaps this is just a bout of Wen Junness and not gayness. I wanna pinch his cheeks. He is just sooo CUUUUTTE! And Jared too. haha. I know you've discovered my blog jared but u must know. Cute little Jared. haha. *Ruffles hair* I hope i dont gay u... dOnt worry.. i wont.

So after all that crap discussion, the conclusion is that...im straight. How lame. Too many dotz in my posts dont u think? ...
...
...

...

Lame. I'll never be gay. cos i just KNOW im not. Someone else knows it too. x)

"What's wrong with it (oral sex)?!? It's normal!" -Ling Zhang

PINK!!

2005-04-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

I think I'm mad... Pink of all colours....hm...

My blog is pink...in case ppl like chin yang doesnt notice that its pink... and surprisingly i dont really mind it. Wow! im so mature. :)

Why i chose pink:

1. Cos its a colour
2. Cos i needed a colour
3. Cos pink is FUNKY
4. Cos pink reflects one's feminine side
5. Cos pink is sexy
6. Cos I like the female gender
7. Cos it just looked good
8. Cos pink is as pink as pink
9. Cos i can post one more post cos of it
10. Cos there are 10 reasons for me choosing pink! Yay!

Faith

2005-04-11T15:25:00.000+08:00

I think im losing faith. Seriously. Help me. I can't take being suaned for being Catholic. I mean...WHAT THE HECK did i do?!?! Did i murder you? I wish i did, so that u can close your horribly big mouth.

Everytime something about Catholics is mentioned, Aaron Tan would around and look at me like an idiot (by the way, he is the idiot, not me) with a spastic smile on his face. Argh! i really wanna go and slap him, but i guess God's greatest give is forgiveness...so next time he does that i'll decide to just go there and try to help him with his mental problems.

I find it getting harder and harder for my logical mind to believe in the existance of a God, a supreme being. Some of the things said at mass, don't seem right to me. Sometimes i don't agree with what the priest says, though most of the time i think what he says is absolutely true. Besides, the church choir SUCKS. I bet i could sing better. Nvm..outta point. Im feeling guilty now for guai lan ing all these people and God. Help me pls! I want to believe. I'm a doubting Thomas. WHY DO I HAVE TO SEE IT BEFORE I CAN BELIEVE IN THE LORD?

Screw.

Bor Ray guai lans me in class... yeah but who cares. It doesnt matter to me much. and that bloody mervyn chng, keep coming to me to ask me "do u wank?" then goes away saying.. "Oh yeah, good little catholic" Sigh. Another one with a mental problem. Despite answering him multiple times, he just keeps coming, occasionally clamping my neck within his arms too just for laughs.

One more thing, everytime Bor Ray comes to guai lan me...i lose faith. I keep rejecting him... As in..i dont pray. I think im praying less and less... great..im confused again..mebbe ill continue this topic when im thinking more clearly..sigh

"You must go and pray." -Bor Ray

Sunday. Chaos

2005-04-11T14:40:00.000+08:00

What initially seemed to be a normal, typical, ordinary sunday let me experience certain really weird things. For things are never what they seem.

After having breakfast and attending mass at 9 am...blah blah... had lunch and came home... Boring. The phone rang...

It was Ling Zhang. Seemed like a usual call from a classmate. But to think that this call led me to a wild duck chase. Ling Zhang called to ask me what we were gonna do for Chem. Since it was due like today..monday. Oh shit. i totally forgot (on purpose, hoping that my grp members wud forget too...sigh pity i was wrong). OCJ would screw us if we didnt finish. Ling Zhang displayed extraordinary leadership skills. By saying that i was a slacker, he played on my mind. Somehow, he managed to cunning me till it was set that he and christian ( who was then just having lunch some where) come to my house that very day. that very moment in fact. I was stunned. It was my younger brother's birthday party...or just a gathering, if u like.. i THINK. 14th April is his birthday, i think. Wow i'm such a good brother. Anyway...Ling Zhang left his home and told me to go fetch him from the Bishan MRT station once he reached the Jurong stop, about 20 minutes. I had no choice but to agree...Ling Zhang can be quite persuasive sometimes, u know.

Anyway, i really think i should end that paragraph...too long. "Gobbble, gobble, gobble...Too much, darling, too much!" -Edna Mode

I immediatly started on my Chinese i-learning zuo wen. Shit..i thought. 600 hundred (six hundred, 600, liu bai..lol) words. I think if i added all the chinese words i have ever written, i wouldnt even reach that number. haha. just joking. I've just never written so much before for a zuo wen. Facing with an impossible task, I rushed through my zuo wen, reaching a pathetic one-and-a-half page of GREEN gaozhi...sux..doesnt it, or rather, dont i.

Ooh...just a bit of digression here. I love being self centered and i can finally do it here! on my very own blog. cough cough. Back to the long winded story.

After writing about 200 words in 20 minutes, a rather unbelievable feat (lol, i think im a bit the exaggerating), I set off for Junction 8. I walked out of my estate and then to the bus stop. Where i waited patiently, choosing to stand instead of sit (to look cool :P). I saw a bus at the junction ahead, ah! So i waited...okay...it came. It was 162 (rather crowded)...pity. i had to take 410.

(background info: only 2 buses come to my bus stop. 410 and 162)

30 seconds later, another bus appeared in the distance. Getting ready, i walked nearer to the road, looking down (to look cool. lol im being really lame on MY BLOG!!!). Looking up, i saw, with a feeling of disbelief, another 162 bus come towards me... I disappointedly go back to my previous standing spot. I stubbornly still stand rather than sit. Looking around, i see that two others are also waiting for the 410 bus. One was an Indian lady, and the other was a Caucasian man.

So i waited...

After some time, another bus rounded the corner. I heaved a sigh of relief. Its quite stressing on one who has a weak heart like myself, to see two 162 buses in a row, when rushing to meet such an important person like Ling Zhang. Haha. When it rounded the corner, i was utterly SHOCKED to see another 162 bus. Pissed...pissed. I didnt wet my pants. ;-)

The bus went away.
and...
We waited...
i waited...
and waited...
and waited...

By this time, the Caucasian man had left...i wasnt sure where to, i just supposed he got tired of waiting... so only the indian lady and myself left there.

AND FINALLY...whew...the bus came. I looked expectantly at it. It turned the corner... my heart was pumping hard...and suddenly...it failed. my heart just failed. for yet ANOTHER 162 bus came towards us. WAH LAO!!! I really think that SBS is super screwed up. Singapore Bus services...imser. Stupid, Bit***, screw ups seems more appropriate... Never mind... i thought... i am calm...i am cool..relax. I WILL BE HALF A BLOODY HOUR LATE TO MEET JUNK!!!

When the bus left, I happened to look across the road. To my surprise, i saw the caucasian man there. He was just getting onto a taxi. Lol. so thats where he went. And i waited again. Waiting is boring. and it is a waste of time too....wow this blog is getting bloody long...id better cut it short.

Staring into the distance, contemplating life's troubles, i saw an amazing sight, a wonderfully significant event, it was a SIGN. At the road leading from my estate out into SIN Ming road, i saw a black car there, ready to go. On the opposite side of the road, was this white car, coming out of Thomson Hills or sth like tt. From where i was, it looked like a confrontation, face to face, white with black, with the misc cars moving along SIN Ming road being so oblivious to the other events. Finally, the cars cleared. The White car moved off first, the Black car had hesitated, and the white car turned to its right and drove off. the road was clear again, now the black car moved, it moved forward, and carried on! It went straight into the Thomson Hills entrance... LAME. From Flame Tree Park to across the road into Thomson Hills..how lame is that. LOL. i bet u were thinking about some good and evil crap right?

HAHA.. anyway, i havent forgotten about the bus u know. It can in due time and AT LAST, AT BLOODY LAST!!! IT WAS A BLOODY 410. and was half full. I went in and stood next to the window. Phew, finally.

The bus was excruciatingly slow. The driver prob sucked. :P Lala.. we're driving down the highway, highway 69, lamzy let out a fart, that blew up the whole bus. The driver couldnt take it, the whole bus fell apart, all becos of lamzy's supersonic fart. Fee fi fo fum... u get the idea. Humdee dum dum...lalalala...lalalim...

At one bus stop, a super tua guy came into the bus. He was even bigger than Paul Lim, and thats saying quite a lot. He was colossal. and he stood next to me! The moment he put his left foot down next to me, i felt the entire floor sink in due to his immense weight ( i think he could be well over 100kg. Once more, I am NOT exaggerating.) I gripped the railing tighter, for fear that the floor would just give way under him.

We reached the temple. Oh CRAP! the TEMPLE! i totally forgot. some stupid qing ming jie had caused a large influx of temple goers. They parked along the sides of the roads and caused a heavy jam there throughout the day. The bus was moving at snail pace. Screw it lah. Finally we reached the bus stop. I casually looked out at the bus stop. OH SHIT!!!!!!!!! more than 60 people were at the bus stop waiting. (I am NOT exaggerating) I had sincerely hoped that many of them would be waiting for 162. But, with a plummeting heart and with a jolt of anger, i had realised that 4 162s had already passed by. shit. Then i hoped that they would wait for the next bus. How wrong i was....

A large THRONG of people came into the bus, we were packed. The HULK was shoved nearer to me. Yikes. People were everywhere. Looking around for some space, i saw a rather chio girl sitting down a few seats from where i was standing. Cough. Never mind. Forget it. ;P

As we climbed the hill, i was afraid that the bus would just topple over. Luckily, nothing like that happened. We reached the interchange safely, and i savoured the taste of fresh air for the first time in MINUTES. I hurried over to where i thought junk would be at. and no surprise (whew..good..for i was quite sick of surprises already), both junk and christian noob were there.

I think i shall end here, for if i tell you about the party and the chem project, it would take too long. Read the next post for more stuff from me.

"Gwoo-auck" -Kah Hou

Hm..jared's blog

2005-04-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

Jared you rock. i suppose now that im starting a blog ill have to maintain it...suxx.. writing about life seems fun and all the thoughts and feelings i have can finally be divulged to the antipating world. Unfortunately, i beg your pardon because ive got me little secrets i cant tell no one.

Now i shall comment on jared's blog. despite reading only a few articles (esp the one about me), one cannot say that im self-centered can you? all the philosophical crap (erm..views) from JAred are so interesting. Oh really har...im not being sarcastic here...SERIOUSLY

Today sucked...lost my phone. Dont you wish tt i would stop saying that everyday of my life sux? tt would make a boring blog wudnt it. okay then, for more fun stuff and more happy stuff. YAY!!!

SOCCER! i played soccer for like more than 5 hours today. How fun. so tired. IM surprised im still awake. Prb cos i slpt earlier...
One more thing, i had a great dream last night. It was a dream on love. It was beautiful. Cant tell how its like. Uve just gotta experience it. Don't mention the name tess to me...THis is a highly sensitive subject. (one of the things i will NOT talk about)

Before i stop for today, i would like to thank jared for simply being jared.

"Are you gay?" -David Court